- NOVELETTE.
He worked in a hardware store and
got $18 a, week
She. worked in a clothing factory
andxearned $9 a week.
They married,- and she, naturally
threw up heirjob.
(The above is-the'plot written by
us. We leave, ifhere. ' The. follow
ing endings are by those to whom
they are credited.)
" By tbe Socialist Reporter.
Now he gets $17.60 a week, she
has gone back to the clothing fac
tory and pulls down $10 per as fore
woman, while Rudyard Roscoe, aetat
2, plays mournfully with a bunch of
other testy children in a free kin
dergarten maintained at the 23d st
settlement by the owner of the cloth
ing faetary. But tkey live in a vine
clad, cottage with the backyard full
of roses, and as soon as they save
$75 from their joint and respective
salaries they're going to buy a pea
nut stand.
By the War Correspondent.
He had so much time on his hands
and he felt so full of pep after a 12
hour working day that he joined the
National Guard. From that time on
he spent every night at the armory,
whre he learned how to become a'
general if he knew, the right politi
cians and figured out on maps why
Napoleon was a piker. He became
a long distance husband, and his wife
never saw, him except when he
marched by on Memorial day and
then he had to keep his eyes to the
front. After a while he answered,
his country's call, and one day in
camp he forgot his gun was loaded
and looked into the wrong end at
the wrong time. The government
gave her a pension of $2.67 a month,
which, added to the $7.50 she was
aple to earn in the clothing factory,
enabled her to wear white-topped
shoes for the rest of her Jife.'
T - -UPLIFT OOZE
TALK
Nobody loves an oyster because it
KEEPS its .mouth shut
You will never let people know you
are on deck unless you TALK a whole
lot
The best place to TALK is in the
reading room of !he public- library
because that, makes lots of people
know you are there.
With proper cultivation and prac
tice ypu can get lots of folks to pay
money to hear you TALK
You don't have to THINK when
you TALK and you CAN'T wear out
your tongue. k '
THERE'S only one thing, don't
talk in your sleep if you are married.
o o
BOTH LACKING
"The old-fashioned boy use to re-,
spect every word his fathersaid."-
"Yes," replied the youth, "but you
must remember that the old-fash-'
ioned boy had one of those old-fashioned
fathers."
, , whaTtoraTse '
"I expect to raise my voice for our
.friend at the convention," remarked
the willing worker.
"Don't bother; raise-funds."
o o
SOFT. SNAPS
1 SHE UKtSTSevW I J
IfURTlUG WITH a wax
MODEL. t2L.