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Newspaper Page Text
in a certain coast city many
'strangers take furnished houses for
the winter and a youngwoman there
is iuiiu ui Keeping uilhs uu mem auu
discussing their, affairs. Of one fam
ily in particular she spoke in detail
their wealth, their children, and, alas,
the obvious aloofness of the rest of
the winter colony.
"I don't know anything about
'em," She declared one day. "But
this I will say: My husband, who C0I7
lects garbage, says that they have
, perfectly swell swill! Everybody s,
Do with all your might; anybody;
' What goonire you if you can't do?
If you are married,- do as you
please if you dare to do it
But do. do. do:
Every minute of the precious
day - '
Even if you have to do
UNDER THE KNIFE
(Very Vers Libre.)
. He leered at me horribly and then
Atslimy hand slid o'er myvquivering
A jagged blade flashed downward as
Once, twice, thrice,
f And then it cut into my shrinking
"L'm sorry, sir," he said,
"But I can't shave you
If you don't keep stilL"
ANSWERS FOR FILM FANS
Dannie Radish. So y6u want to
kick because in a scene in "The Am
ber Collar Button" the sewer digger
who picked up the society girl's
purse didn't wear a union button?
Dear Dan, don't get mad, 'he was
only supposed to be an apprentice
sewer digger. So there!
Distinguished Out-of-Town Guest
(speaking at banquet) Your beau
tiful little city apepals to me. -As we
came in on the train I remarked to
my wife, "Ah, my dear, you and I
ought to be living on the top of one
of these magnificent hills."
Toastmaster (in hoarse whisper)
--Go easy; we've got only two hills
in town; the insane asylum is on one
and thegarbage plant on the other:
A scrubwoman applied to a lady.
for a job. "What do you charge a
day?" asked the mistress.
"Well, -mum,," was the reply, "a
dollar and a quarter if I eats meeelf,
and a dollar if you eats me.- Ladies'
TUT-TUT ' x
"The' word 'reviver spells the same
backward or forward." It was the
frivolous man who spoke. "Can you
think of another?"
The serious man scowled up from
his newspaper. "Tut-tut!',' he cried
I 1 DimJ'r
' WAR XV ENLIST I
WA&OM FOK f DENTIST