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Newspaper Page Text
new york. it ain't verry often that
you can pull a good goak offen a
wayter in a restrant, for if theres
going to be anny thing like that done
he is going to do the .pulling & the
other guy is going to be the goat,
you can sprinkel your last $ on a bet
so that is 1 reeson why this is a
good goak, but then he was a new
wayter who hadent been in the har
ness verry long
mr. henery fiefeeld, a verry rich
broker that goes to this restrant for
his lunch sat down at the tabel &
the, wayCer -limped over to him be
caus he walked a littel lame '
he pored him out a glass of water
& dolled up the side of the tabel with
a bunch of nives & forks & passed
mr. fiefeeld. a napkun
then he went to look for a menoo
ticket so the man cood tell what he
wanted to feed his' face
but he coodent find it in a hurry
so mr fiefeeld called him back thats
alrite, he says, i come far heer so
offen i dont need 1 of them
have you frogs legs, he told the
wayter just as he comes up to the
tabel agin '
o, no, that aint it, the wayter said,
it is roomatism thatmakes me walk
, MORE OR LESS
"A previous witness testified that
the man vanished as completely as if
the earth had opened and swallowed
"More so, your honor. He van
ished as completely as if he had 'fun
over somebody with his can" Puck.
THE RETORT COURTEOUS -.The
famous director had' an ap
pointment to join his company at a
beach location, and, being late, he
was breaking various speed limits to
get there, when his engine suddenly
went, back on him.
The usual idiot with the propensity
for asking foolish questions came
along and surveyed the picture com
posed of a pair of legs projecting
from under the machine.
. "What's the matter?" he asked.
"Had an accident?"
"Oh, no!" came in muffled but sar
castic tones from beneath the car.
"I'm merely taking it apart to see
what makes it tick!" Film Pun.
"Did you have anything in your
garden this spring?"
"Oh, yes, several varieties."
"What, for instance?"
"Oh, Plymouth Rocks and Leg
' 'QUITE FAMILIAR
Young Thing Then you, too, have
felt the subtle touch of his genius.
Old Party Oh, yes and also the
subtle genius of his touch. Life.
I SHARKS DO IT)
HeftROF FtSH J
ROOKING FOR PEARLS
IN OYSTgR cfcACKRsH