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Newspaper Page Text
(Kind of a City Guy's Elegy.)
Amaryllis, listen, kid,
- I love you as I always did;
Just because. I've gone away
Aln'ti no reason, I might say
Why I have forgotten you
. Amaryllis, you will do!
, Amaryllis, I remember,
All them glad days in September,
When beneath the harvest moon.
That there love-spell broke too soon.
. 'Course, we'd orter died that night
Amaryllis, ain't I right?
Amaryllis, gosh, it's tough
This lonely thing is right bad stuff;
If a guy could just forget
All the past, he wouldn't fret;
But memories are never slack;
Amaryllis, kid, come back!
-While making his usual daily in
; spection of the stables the major no
ticed Trooper Jones giving his horse
a piece of lump sugar.
"I am very much pleased to see you
making much of your horse, Troop
er Jones," he said ; "it shows that you
regard him with the true spirit and
I will not forget it"
Trooper Jones waited until his
commanding officer was out of hear
ing and then turned to his neighbor.
"I wasn't makin' much of him," he
said. "The blighter threw me off this
; morning and I am trying to give
'? him the blinkin' toothache." Tit
WHY IT WAS SAFER
A boy was visiting another boy,
and as they were going to bed the
"little host knelt to say his prayers.
"I never say my prayers when I
, am home," said the visitor.
c. "That's all right," said the other
"boy. "You better say them here.
This is A folding bed." Ladies'
: Home JournaL
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
The Love Bug.
Gather 'round all ye who are love
sick. This is the bug that gave you
the fever. A fellow who is in good,
healthy condition may be walking
through the park and not have the
slightest thought of falling for some
fair damsel. His thoughts may be
far away, overhauling his automobile
or pairitirfg a chicken coop until the
love bug alights on his vest just over
the first pocket on the left side and
drills through, puncturing the Ro-meo-to-be's
carburettor then keep
your headlights on the poor boob!
Observe how, stricken with the
fever, he raves about some frail He
even tries to write poetry about her,
loses his appetite, and wanders along
the streets looking In jewelry and
furniture store windows.
Don's try to dodge th&love bug, be
cause when he goes after anyone he
Wife Well, dear, I shall- have to
do the cooking now. Cook left with
out warning this afternoon.
Husband Not exactly without
warning. She told me this morning
I had better bring home some dys
pepsia tablets tonight, but I didnt
quite understand what she meant-