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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
The ostrich is the society person
of all birds. Observe the low neck
with -very little shelter and maybe
she can t trot
The ostrich hasn't very much
"gray matter" in the belfry. Even
with that handicap, the male ostrich
doesn t wear a sport shirt and nei
ther is he a six-day bike race fan.
When danger is near, the ostrich
pokes his head in the sand (like con'
g gress) and thinks that because he
can t see the danger it can't see him.
Anyhow, danger doesn't look for
the peanut buried in the sand; it
takes a healthy wallop at the bulk
that buries the would-be think tank.
My U wouldn't the ostrich be in a
fine pickle on a dance floor? -
THE SUPREME TEST
"Brudder Jackson," said the col
ored preacher to a parishioner"yo
wife done tell me she got religion
and wants to jine de jchurch."
"Yes, suh, dat's so," replied the
"Well, brudder," suggested the
preacher, ,lIse gwine to put-her pro
testashuns to a test de nex' time it
rains, Brudder Jackson, you .let your
dawg get good and wet an' den let
theliawg in yo' parlor and den you
tell me what yo' wife says. Den I
r will know whether Sis' Jackson
should cum Into de fold or not."
J: Ladies' Home Journal. J
PROVING MAW WRONG
Freddy, with a determined look on
his small countenance, marched into
the front room and up to the ardent
suitor of his pretty sister.,
"What's them?" he demanded,
thrusting out a grimy hand full of
small white objects..
"What are those?" said the young
man with an ingratiating smile.
"Those are beans."
"He does know 'em, maw," bawled
-Freddy triumphantly into an adjoin
ing room. "You said he didn't"
Ladies' Home Journal.
A congressman from Maryland, in
the course of a debate, called an In
diana representative an ass. This
was, of course, unparliamentary and
had to be withdrawn.
The Marylander said: "I withdraw'
the language, Mr. Speaker, but I in
sist that the gentleman from Indiana
is out of order."
"How am I out of order?" yelled
"Probably a veterinary surgeoa
could tell you," retorted the Mary
.TH' LASf PLACE I WNT fiDR
fA 3O0 Trt' POSS POKX ME HOW
LONG I WAS AT Y LAST PLACE
I Told tfw TWO 'TEARS AfJ'
ASKED ME WHAT I WAS
OOlKG AN I TOt P HIW
VAl "TING FOR AM ORDER TO
PUf AWNIN6S ) A SUeWAY-J