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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural .History by Eugene Ahern
Here he 'is, Amos Quito, the little
fellow with the punch. He isn't a
vegetarian, and he isn't particular
how its served rare, medium or
well done. .
There are 100 quadrillion mosqui
toes born every day, and not one of
them is 'drilling for the Standard Oil
Co. Just imagine if they used pow
der how much of it would be used
every five minutes to powder their
You can't get Amos to wear a sport
shirt but he likes to see them on the
(men?) especially the fellows with
the brakeman hair cut
Don't you kind of like the mos
quito? So do we. (Easy on this
Eddie, shh!) Mr. Mosquito, like all
misters, likes the ankles and short
skirts. We wonder if the mosquito
gets-dust in his eyes like we do?
A woman was telling a neighbor
about her new -son-in-law.
"He's a college professor," she
said. "I don't know just what kina,
but I understand he insects bugs."
L "QUITE TRUE"
) "Isn't it ridiculous, women being
jkfraid of mice?"
"Yes, but what of the men? They
fere afraid of the women who are
"afraid of thcmloe.-r-N. Y. World.
Jake Penticon came to seek aid
from the city fathers.
"I gotta haff a sack of flour," said
Jake. "I'm all out and my family iss
"All right, Jake," said the official.
"If you need flour and have no
money we'll getvyou' a sack. But
see here, Jake, there's a circus com
ing, and if we get you the flour are
you sure you will not sell it and take
your family to the circus?"
"Oh, no," said Jake. "I already
got dat safed up. Yas, I got money
to go to the circus." Youth's Com
panion. A CANCELLATION
A telegraph clerk in an outlying
district of the Sudan found the deso
lation getting the better of his nervee
and telegraphed to headquarters:
"Can't stay here; am in dange"r of
life: surrounded by lions, elephants
The hard-hearted clerk at head
quarters wired back: "There are no
wolves in the Sudan."
The next day the desolate one re
plied: "Referring to my wire of the
16th, cancel wolves." Philadelphia
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