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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
Oh! We know what it is. At first
we thought it was a blot but when
f we saw the feet we knew.
U What is it then?
K It's a bulL Aw! you peeked. It's
also called a "Plain Clothes Man,"
I "Fly Cop," "Mug," and "Dick." It's
almost impossible to tell a bull from
as telling a celluloid collar from a
All tnat s necessary to become a
bull is to have big hoofs, nothing
All the head is for is just to have
a neck on it that boils over the collar
so the sun can make it look like a
blast furnace. It's impossible for a
bull to fall over.
Bulls keep the satchels that cover
the feet shined up slicky so the
masses won't mistake them for head
stones. r If ever anything happens and you
don't want to call an officer because
it will cause too much of a row, call
a bull to keep it quiet, he'll never
now what it's about himself.
"We've been playing school,
"Indeed?" replied her mother. "I
hope you behaved nicely."
"Oh, I didn't have to behave," said
Ethel. "I was the teacher." N. Y.
At a fancy-dress ball for children
a policeman stationed at the door
was instructed not to admit any
An excited woman came running
up to the door and demanded ad
mission. "I'm sorry, mum," replied the po
licemen, "but I can't let any one in.
"But my child is dressed as a .but
terfly," exclaimed the woman, "and
has forgotten her wings."
"Can't help it," replied the police
man, "orders is orders; you'll have
to let her go as a caterpiller." Tit-Bits.
NOT A FIGHTER
A Teutonic resident of Brooklyn
was talking with a friend about his
"Dose Irish make me sick," he. said,
"alvays talking about vat great fight
ers dey are. Vhy. at Tilda's vecMin!?-
der odder night, dot drunken Tim
O'Toole butted in, und me und mein
bruder and mein Uncle Hans and
mein frient, Fritz Kuhl vhy, ve pret
ty near kicked him oudt of der
''tR' ZUooe ASKED MY rJAweN
. AN,' I TOLP HIM "RJ6AR1V- HE
SAYS "I WANTYOUf? FlH-i-rtAMB
- Art' I -fOUO HIN-
"3US-f -frt SAME VOUft tfONOR,
F06ARTY. FUtU OR SOBERS