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Newspaper Page Text
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
Unnatural History by Eugene Ahern
"Omnibus notum tonsoribus"
means "Every barber knows that"
Barbers are the A-No. 1 reporters.
Talk about "scoops," "why, they can
pick up more ne'ws of any kind in
five minutes without leaving the
shop than four and twenty newspa
permen could find in a month.
In the olden times, which was a
long time ago, besides being bar
bers they were surgeons. Haven't
you noticed after you got a shave
that there was something about your
face that made you think they would
make good surgeons? We have a
little momento on the port side of
our nose that will remind us of the
fact for life.
If you spent an hour shampooing
the moss on your "derby chair" and
then went into the parrot's shop he'd.'
say "Would you like a shampoo? I
see your hair is very oily and dusty"
just like that
You'll always find a barber recom-
mending some remarkable hair re
storer for your hair when his own
knob is as shy o& foliage as a hall
i tree is of leaves.
Willis, Sr. You are just a good-for-nothing
ladies' man. Why don't
you go to work? When I was your
age I was striking out
- yWillis, Jr. I'm doing better tfian
you then, pop. I'm making a hit
PLAIN ON THE FACE OF IT
There entered a store in Mobile a
darky who, after making a purchase,
tendered in payment a dollar that
had a suspicious ring.
"Look here," exclaimed the store
keeper, "you're tryin' to work off on
me one of them false coins the coun
terfeiters have just been arrested for
"That ain't possible," said the
darky, with the utmost conviction.
"Jest have a look at dat dollah. It's
dated 1863. If it was counterfeit
shorely de banks would have found
it out long befo' dis!"
THE WRONG PATIENT
"Doctor, can you tell me what will
"Why don't you walk three or four
miles before going to bed?"
"That wouldn't do a bit of good.
It's the baby who has insomnia and
he hasn't learned to walk yet" New
THE ONLY LAW .
"Professor, I want to take up in
ternational law. What course of
study would you recommend?"
"Constant target practice."
A SOFT SNAP
( io uks-To HAve a ctob
IfJ A FbWDei? FAC-foRY-
A FeutOW IS UIABl.
To eef a raise
THE REMTlNO A&EWfl
for ths wrtrm Hpe