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peonage, raising bananas on land they don't own in exchange for wages of bare subsistence or starvation, and this to the profit of a few big land lords. Yes, the war is about bananas. Russians SHORT ONES My! My! Aren't the rushin. Our young hopeful isn't so very different from the women who ask to be surprised on their various an niversaries with a present of their own selection. Almost every night he greets us with, "Daddy, have you got a surprise for me? Have you got some chewing gum?" Cents with municipal utility stocks for sale find it easy to prove that mu nicipal ownership's a failure every where. Funny, but that Cleveland municipal light plant is still running and at a profit Schlatter, the self-proclaimed Moses, says he heals with a "blessed handkerchief." Old stuff! Any Hay Fever victim has a good supply of "blessed handkerchiefs. To whisker or not to whisker? WE CAN'T BLAME THEM IF THEY SCRAP REV HU6HE5 50N J REV. WILSON'S SON J THE PUBLIC FORUM HEARST WON'T FIGHT. Be ware of Morgan, Rockefeller, Hearst and Wall street! Willie Hearst is not going to the trenches to fight for his land, or Rockefeller for his oil wells, but every laboring American who takes a bath and loses all his property will show his patriotism by giving up his sweetheart and family to fight for a Hearst, who invested money by buy ing stolen land from Diaz. Hearst is not only for Big Business, but fails to recognize his men when on a strike and fills his papers with hot air and Abe Kabibles. Harry Plot-kin. GRASS WIDOW SPEAKS. I have just pulled some of the hayseed from my hair (I am a grass widow) and I want to tell Allen Steven that the real reason this class of women catch the men is that we, being left by our lords and masters of the su perior(?) sex, by the grass or sod route, as a rule have also been left a ready-made home for the man to step into who wants a home some other man has made. Therein lies the attraction that a widow holds. Neither is it necessarily true that when a "man secures a divorce from his wife she is ready to love the first man that appears, for she probably has enough to be grateful for to be rid of No. 1. According to Allen, "If Eve had been an old maid, Adam would not have fallen." The bible has never made note of the fact that Eve was a widow. If she had a husband other than Adam, who was he and what became of him? Allen refers to the single state of Dorothy Dix, Helen Oldfield" and "others of that hopeless class." How does he know that these noble wom en are old maids? They are not, in all probability, as fond of seeing their real names in print as is. our distin guished critic. If they are single,