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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Mr. Conductor, would you please
give me a transfer on the jellyroll
Rowf! Rowf! Why didn't yuh ask
for It -when yuh got on?
Gosh, we ought to shoot ourselves
to accommodate the bear. Notice
the way he almost jerks the roof
down when he rings the bell and
tries to unhook the back platform
from the car when he opens and clos
es the door with a crash?
When you get on a car that has
one of these grouchy bear conduc
tors you get the impression he is do
ing you a great favor by letting you
ride on his car. After he has closed
the door and somebody comes along
to get on the car, the bear always
gets suddenly interested in some
thing on the ceiling of the car and
lets the poor rummy stand outside
like a hitching post. '
We wish the bear would take a
tumble to himself and try to think
who helps pay his salary and keep
him in a job. Supposing other men
who depend on the public for their-
money would act like the bear, for
example, suppose you went into a
store and said, "I'd like a loaf of rye
bread," and, the baker put an out
curve on it and hit you right back
fe-of the ear. Wouldn't that be swell?
Mr. Bear, it wouw be better for
you and tne masses lr you would
yy cook the meat you eat
A RARE TREAT
Tommy wanted to go to the
movies, but his mother objected.
"Aw, you never let me go no place,"
"Why, Tommy," said his mother,
"what shockingly bad grammar you
use! Can't you speak more cor
rectly?" "Sure I can," said the boy ,"if you
will only give me a chance. You
ought to hear me say: 'Yes, mother,
you let me go wherever I want to.' "
New York World. 1 .
ON A HOT DAY .
"What are you hollerin' at the ice
"Want to make him mad," replied
the youngster with defiant red hair.
"I want to make him mad so's he'll
throw something at me."
"So he'll throw something!"
"Yes. He hasn't anything to-throw
but a chunk of ice an' that's what
MAKING A MATCH OF IT
Mary What color are you going
to get' your summer frock?
Jane Oh, something that goes
with khaki. Passing Show.
A SOFT SNAP
ftSKeotH cop vMooteTRNcHep
A SM6lR- NoimN -ffl'tuR.
&(XMb SeW-miNG WORK
on a pipe organ