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Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE!
One of life's little miracles: Sun
shine. (At least in Chicago.)- ..
What's become of "Twenty
Tramp, tramp, tramp, you'll always
Hiking down the railroad track.
Like a fortune hunting knave,
Always needing of a shave.
With their corn-cob and few cloths
on their back.
The average business man's office
ranks well with the make-up of a
home while the common worker's
department is simply rank.
Who got your'umbrella?
I HAD A SWEU.
And speaking of umbrellas, note
They don't agree: A young
ster who likes to play in the dirt,
and a new suit.
Indoor shorts: The cause of many
a fire attributed to an electric wire
Cause for silence: Midnight
The weatherman is always start
ing something he can't finish. Mon
day started out with fine sunshine.
But after 3 o'clock wishy wash.
The hitching strap of matrimony
is often broken by the lash of bad
Grab it at the start Oppor
tunity is like a waitress who
passes you things once.
Your wife may overlook your big
faults if you don't overlook your lit
tle courtesies to her.
It makes you sore: Riding a buck
ing bronco bareback.
Interlocutor How do you feel,
Mr. Bones, when you were In the
midst of war?
Mr. Bones Just like a nude pea
Inter. SIow's that?
Mr. B. Shelled.
It takes as long to say an unkind
word as a pleasant one; pleasant
words bring good results; unkind
ones pay no dividends; then- what's
the use bf wasting time on them?
If you would avoid trouble always
look for the funny side of the ques
tion. H. M. C.
A MIXTURE IN GENDERS
Mr. W., a popular school principal,
resigned to become superintendent of
schools elsewhere. Mr. B. took the
position left vacant.
Shortly after Mr. W.'s departure a
third grade teacher confiscated the
following note from a small girl in
her room who was a warm admirer
Of the former principal: .
"Dear Mr. W. I wisht you would
come back. Youjvas a perfect lady
and Mr. B. is an old heifer."
A SOFT SNAP
'HCft! HH'.TrilS IS RICH-1 SAYN
AKcHOV HUNGAKY1 AM YOU
say. yes -meN i
SAY, WLL COME ALONG
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