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Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE!
One of life's little miracles: Being
an umpire and being popular all at
the same time.
What's become of "Oh gosh, but I
wish il would get warm."
"Hurrah," breaks forth the laundry
He's happy as can be.
He loves this boiling weather with
The heat at eighty-three.
He laughs when other people sweat,
He giggles when they holler.
'Cause every good sweat means to
Another wilted collar.
The sketch above shows an
exception to the general rule.
It's a hunter filling a trunk after
he has arrived at his destination
instead of packing it before he
A butterfly may dance and dazzle
the ballroom, but the wallflower is
more apt to beautify the home.
Indoor shorts: The crippled leg
of tht old soldier who "had no to
bacco, so tobacco he would beg."
Chicago jumping-off place:
The ground floor in front of an
Cause for silence: "Who said Til
The man may place the roof over
their heads, but it remains for the
wife to make it either a home or a
Rockefeller has taken first prize
at the Tarrytown Horticultural so
ciety exhibit for the largest straw
berries. We would advise our lady
readers to hurry and put up
their strawberry preserves be
fore the rise in price.
It makes you sore: "Rain tonight
and probably Saturday."
InterlocutorWhy is a cooking
pan like expensive straw hats?
Mr. Bones I don't know, Mr.
Bones. Why is a cooking pan like
expensive straw hats?
Mr; Bones Because they're both
The artist for this column is out
to lunch just now so the above will
have to go unillustrated.
Since the price of paper has
gone up.it seems that rags are
also scarce. We used to get
about seven a week. Irving Ber
lin please note.
All patriotic folks who have an
automobile that is intending to blow
a tire should have it wait until the
Fourth of July. Then we could have
lots of harmless noise in spite ot, the
"Everybody's Doing It" getting a
divorce. There were 250,000 issued
in America this past year.
A SOFT SNAP
fEP, A BULLET IS DRIVEN OUT
Of A GUN BY MEANS OF