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Newspaper Page Text
A good scheme -would be an asso
ciation where every member pays $1
a month when working and receives
$1 a day when not. Such a scheme,
of course, needs the state behind it
to go into respective functions.
J. Ceo. Chellman.
FUN MAKERS' TROUBLES.
Civilized countries have generally
abolished chattel slavery, but all the
people therein are not civilized and
some must be amused like the ty
rants of old in order to make them
fit for association in safety. Hence
the enslavement of the fun makers.
The slave under contract to pro
duce a column of fun every day, at
so much per week, escapes the phys
ical fatigue of the cotton and sugar
cultivator, but gets so tired mental
ly that he becomes conscienceless
and will substitute any old thing for
humor. His mind gets so hardened
that he passes wit by unrecognized
and laughs obscenely at thoughts de
grading and salacious.
The deeply moral and highly relig
ious Tribune works it humor founder
overtime. Here is a choice selection :
"SITUATION WANTED Ladies
laundered reasonable; outside dry
ing." If he had remained sane long
enough to perceive, he would have
known that none but softening
brains could laugh at the idea of
ladies being laundered and hung up
to dry outside. He would have
omitted the suggestion "try Wilson
But the sympathy of all discrim
inating minds covers the overworked
fun maker with a mantle of charity.
George V. Wells.
BURYING OF CHRIST. We read
ers of The Public Forum have been
treated to some very interesting,
even amusing, food for thought, but
we have failed utterly to appreciate
the wonderful memory of E Swee
ney. He can remember and relate
even to the minutest details the cir
cumstances surrounding the cruci
fixion and burial of our Lord Jesus
Christ. He makes the astounding
revelation hitherto unknown to hu
manity that a lawyer and a college
professor officiated at His burial.
We are aware of the fact that law
yers and college professors have ac
complished some very strange
things, but we can't conceive of any
greater miracle than that their pro
fessions were in existence during the
lifetime of Christ. As we grow older
we learn, for there is always among
us one who, like a mushroom,
springs up in the -night and proclaims
It is a mystery to us that some
world-renowned scientist engaged in
bible research work has failed to dis
cover this prodigy.
There are brain specialists who
would spend a fortune to learn the
source of this man's wonderful mem
ory, not to mention the many years
he has managed to exist.
It would be a good plan if E. Swee
ney would study his bible. We are
forced to make use of a slang ex
pression and say that before writing
your next article you should "tie the
bull outside." Weary Ann.
OUTSKI FOR GOODSKI