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Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE!
One of life's little miracles: Tell
ing a joke that at feast one of your
listeners has not heard before-.
What's become of all the prepared
There are bathing suits for women,
In all colors that we know.
You'll see them on the beaches
As the bathers come and go.
There are pretty ones and queer
But the queerest suit as yet
Is the one that women bathers wear
And never let get wet.
The guy in the sketch above is
merely trying to get the right num
ber. If you go to war, pray; if you
go on a sea journey, pray twice;
but pray three times if you are
going to be married. Russian
More equality, ba'gosh! King
George ordains that military medals
may be awarded brave women.
Wonder what a lot of "sweet
hearts" are doing without that Sat
urday night box of bon bons, or the
Thursday evening movie show, since
so many sojer boys marched away?
"Tramp, tramp, tramp," is a
blamed good song for American
troopers to march away with. A
lot of them have been living like
tramps since they bid good-by to
home ties. v
Funny how a fellow will march
miles in a parade and then raise a
kick if friend wife asks him to take
a little jaunt with her in the evening.
Indoor shorts; An empty stomach.
Cause for silence: Unconscious
ness. Old timers: Hash!
When a fella leaves home for
a golf trip his score is always
better than he makes when he
plays with his friends, so he .
writes. If he'd drop a truthful
letter back home it would proba
bly read something like this:
Dear Jack: Want to buy six golf
clubs? I've got a mashie, putter,
driver, midiron, brassie and niblic for
sale CHEAP! Say, I never had such
golf in my life. This is a rotten
course. Wish I hadn't come. Have
played with a lot of rookies. Start
ed out fine the first time. Took two
bogies. Then blooie! Everybody in
sisted on talking on the green. "Took
nine on a four hole. Then I had to
shoot last and unusual things like
that get my goat I was rotten all
the rest of the day. I think I only
missed two bunkers on the course.
Also it is a good thing I was using
floaters. Lots of water holes and I
played them with a constant splash.
But after all I played eighteen holes
in 90 with my pencil. Think I will
indulge in croquet tomorrow. S'long.
It makes. you sore: Riding the
Young People's Baptist union open
ed convention at Coliseum.
Cook County Bull Moosers says
they won't stand for Harry B. Miller
as G. 0. P. candidate for state's att'y.
Ollie Smith, Waukesha, caused ar
rest of Clara Roberts, lady barber,
462 S. State. Says $10 bill disap
peared while she shaved him.
Archbishop Mundelein shifted sev
eral priests in big shake-up.
Arthur G. Carlisle, 19, arrested for
stealing roast chicken and ladies'
silk stockings from mail bag, freed