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POOR HUBBIES! THEY HAVE AN
AWFUL TIME IN LIFE
'Twas husbands' day in the do
mestic court and tales that were told
by men would make you- weep from
a heart of stone and weep and weep
again. For all the things that hus
bands endure at the hands of wicked
wives are surely enough to kill a cat
-with all of its fabled lives.
There was Ben Hanwich, who is
just a lad of 20 years or more, kid
naped one day, six months ago. Gee,
but it made him sore! For he says
jhe was full when the lady wooed and
"he hadn't a thing to say. She got
'the license and everything and mar
ked him right away.
Of course, it is true that the lady
said he never gave her a cent, but
made her come through with all she
.earned and that was what he spent
That three hundred bones simo
leons green, bucks the lady said,
she gave him to put in a clothing
store, but he fed the chickens in
stead. And the cruel day when he went
away and left her in despair, he took
the last of the dough she had and
the cupboard it was bare. And
though she says he has changed his
plans and gone to work again, he
won't come across with a single cent
in spite of her sad refrain.
' But, of course, Ben explained
there was none of this true, and his
mamma vouched the same, and
they've filed a suit in the circuit
court to get Ben back again and the
marriage annulled, for he's under
age he shouldn't have been stolen
away. "Meantime," said the judge,
"there is four a week that Ben has
'got to pay."
And Louis Anderson, dear, oh me,
his was a tragic tale that would tear
at your heart, make you gnash your
teeth and pull out your hair and
waiL For, though he is married a
scant nine months, he has found his
4ove has flown because his wife, un
grateful thing, didn't keep up a
At breakfast time, when he want
ed his grub, it wouldn't be always
there, and sometimes at night he'd
saunter home and find the lady fair
was out at her ma's with the baby,
too, and nothing for him to eat, and -just
two weeks ago he found his love p
had died complete.
The missus she said he had beaten
her up and ordered her out of the
house, and, though she was charged
with deeds most cruel, she looked
like a frightened mouse. But Ander
son said the beating up was just a
shove he gave, a pat of love, it might
be called, the kind most ladies crave.
"Pay six a week with a surety
bond, or you'll go -out to the pen,"
Judge Rooney frowned. "It's a sorry
thing you can't make up again. Both
of you young, and a baby, too. You
work for your mother, you say, driv
ing a car. She can go on your bond
and I know you'll have to pay."
"Not so," said the mother of An
derson. "I simply refuse to sign, for
if he don't pay, I'm sure I won't no,
sir, not any old time." "You're minus
a chauffeur," the judge announced.
"Take Anderson bac"k to the pen, and
when you get ready to get 'him a
bond I'll let him out again."
Dri Hubbard, ah, he is misunder
stood! It really is quite too bad.
Not only that, but he might admit
there's cause for him to be mad.
Gambling, 'twas said by his cruel
spouse, was Dri's most terrible crime,
but honest to goodness, listen to
this, he was innocent all the time.
He admits he played poker for bar
room checks that are cashed for a
schooner high, but that wasn't what Qj
happened the number of checks ;tha
fell in the stack of Dri. He sold them
all to get ( money for home to give
his suspicious frau to buy bread and
meat for the kids to eat, yet she
kicked up that gambling row.
"Tut, tut," said the judge, "get a
real man's job and leave playing
cards alone. If you don't wor&