Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
pVpVpVYf'PPrmWV"P!'9WWVJ M'W WW
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL,
Unnatural History by Gene Ahem
The Curly Wolf
You've seen this goof, Alonzo. You
know, he's the noisy clever guy that
wears his hat on his ear. Well, that's
all right, Carl, any place will do for
the hat. You couldn't exactly call it
ahead, could'st one? Anyhow a soft
hat would be more appropriate to
match up with this head.
This is the simp who stands on the
corner with a crowd, or at the beach,
or park, and makes cute, clever re
marks when the frails go by.
He stands with his hands in his
pockets, every move a picture, rat
tling what is supposed to be coins,
but in reality are stock-room keys.
He has his legs far apart like a
thoroughbred horse and when a doll
comes tripping along, he spills some
thing clever like this: "Oh! how do
you do! in a case like that George?"
Then he'll snap his fingers and do
some soft shoe dancing. Yes, Neil,
t Italy is the only place where they
'don't believe in capital punishment.
HER OWN FAULT
"I've got an awful cold "and you
don't show the slightest sympathy,"
"It serves you right," answered
her husband. "You had no business
to get up in the middle of the night
and stand on the cold floor in your
bare feet while you went through my
pocketB." N. Y. World
A FINISH NEEDED
"Little boy, little boy, you shouldn't
flght that way."
"Hold off with your peace talk,
lady. One more punch on the nose
from me and I'll have this kid ready
to listen to you." Detroit Free
"This isn't my flannel suit," said
Blinks. "Mine was half a dozen sizes
larger than this one."
"Maybe it has shrunk from being
in soak so long," suggested the
pawnbroker. N. Y. World.
IN THE DARK
"I shall love you all my days!" h
"Oh, that's all right about your
days," replied the practical young
woman, "but what are you going to
do with your nights?" Judge.
"So you'd like to be a soldier,
would you, my boy? "
"What kind of a soldier would you
prefer to be?"
"A live one."
A SOFT SNAP
.'vMOi SOM ASKED rtTX
PERMISSION TO MARRy
I HIS OAlteHlkR WAStoT
tH OLD MAM PUT PUl J
iPoUSHltf G GOLD RSH-