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Newspaper Page Text
DIDN'T KNOW HER
A story is told of an American
traveling in Europe.
While in Paris he went into a jew
eler's shop and asked the price of a
pin on the counter. He was told it
was 20 francs.
"That's too much," said the tour
ist "It's a present for my sister. I'll
give you 5 francs for it.'' '
"Zen it would toe I zat gave ze pres
ent to your sister," said the French
man, with a deprecatory shrug, "and
I know not ze mademoiselle."
"Remember Cicero Jones, who
won first prize in the oratorical con
test the year "we graduated from col
lege?" V "Sure I do. Everybody predicted
he would be heard from before he
was many years older. Ever hear
what became of him?"
"That's just what I started to tell
you. I ran across him yesterday call
ing out trains 'in the P. D. & Q. sta
tion." N. Y. World.
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
"I've brought back those eggs you
gave me this morning," said the'new
bride, as she began to take the arti
cles in question from her basket
"They're duck eggs."
"Duck eggs!" sneered the grocery
boss. "You're mistaken, ma'am. I
don't sell no duck eggs."
"But I tested them," triumphed the
matrimonial novice. "I dropped them
into water and they floated." Judge.
"Do you think your father would
consent to our marriage."
"He might Father's so eccentric."
CAUGHT WITH THE GOODS!
Gwen Jack, that man hasn't tak
en his eyes off me for an instant dur
ing the last hour.
Jack -How do you inow2
Now children, turn over to the next
page and we have the waiter.
But, Reggie, that picture ain't
right, it shows him in a pose de
noting speed. v
Yes it is, Rollo; he's bringing the
check. They're regular Ralph de
"Palm"-as (get the drift in that de
Talm"-a?) when it comes to the
The fingerbowl is just a little trick
of the trade to detract your attention
from the amount of the check, and
they always put the check face
down. It wouldn't do to face the
amount side up, because so many
people have heart trouble and sudden
shocks are fatal.
Your meal costs a case note and
you give him $5. Before going he
lights your cigar and fills up the glass
till it overflows. Then he comes back
with three singles, two quarters and
Why does he always bring back
one of the dollars in change, Rudolf?
Why, stupid, that's too silly a ques
tion to answer. s
Then he sticks around your table
worse than the gum, until you sep
arate twins from the dime family.
After he land them he makes a get
away that would make Villa's look
like a sa'ck race.
The waiters are very amiable
among themselves, like five news-
boys gelling a. paper to one fellow.