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SOB WRITER GOES AFTER PATHETIC STORY
IN ORDER THAT FOLKS MAY LAUGH
"I have an idea," the sob writer i woman wanted him at all, but the
said, approaching the city editor's missus.
desk. "It came to me from a bitter
experience. I met a man yesterday,
a Mr. Swanson, and he told me he
had a laundry bill against me because
my sob writer stories made his wife
weep so copiously that she needed
seveial handkerchiefs a day. Now,
since those were funny stories that
she was weeping over, don't you
think it would be well to write some
thing in my pathetic vein that "
"I am not surprised," the city edi
tor interrupted. "I, myself, have felt
tempted to weep over your idea of
humor, but since you have such a
rare thing as an idea, I won't discour
age the first one I have known you to
possess, so go forth and let me
Under her hat the s. w. nursed in
dignation, but true to her training
she smiled respectfully and left the
office. Some hours later she sought
the c. e. on the telephone.
"Isn't it the queerest thing?" she
asked plaintively, "that whenever one
' is out for funny stuff nothing turns
up but tragedy, and when one is
seeking tragedy, comedy spouts from
the mouths even of children."
"Go to it get it out of your sys
tem," snapped the c e.
"I can, of course, treat this in a
pathetic manner," the s. w. contin
ued. "That is the advantage of versa
tility, but it really well, one thing
that seriously recommended itself to
my attention and I really want to
treat seriously, anyway, was the ad
monition of Judge Rooney to a wife
she happened to be Mrs. Fred Wag
ner that just because she fell in love
with Wagner she mustn't suppose
other women wanted him that he
was any lady-killer. The judge inti
mated to her that it was her imagi
nation probably that led her to be
lieve Wagner was unsafe at large,
and that m all probability no other
"He didn't put it quite so-broadly,
but it needs to be put plainly. One of
the things that has frequently exas
perated me is the married women 'I
have known who have told me that
if they died they would be willing for
me to marry their husbands, when,
in each case, I have felt that I would
not marry the man if there wasn't
another man on earth, and polite
ness only has prevented my saying
so, therefore "
"Come on, come on," said the c. e.
"Who do you think this is, the editor
of the lovelorn column? If you have
anything to say, begin."
"Pardon me," said the s. w. sweet
ly. "There was another husband who
didn't seem any more desirable to
me a Mr. John Burk, but he admit
ted that there is some other woman
who likes him, so, if he was truthful,
it may be that well, I won't go into
that angle. He was cabaretting, his
wife said, and the judge told him he
should pay his wife $10 a week, then
he wouldn't have so much left to take
the other lady out, and he agreed.
"Then there was one other case
that should be treated with due' se
riousness. Mrs. George List left her
husband and went home to her moth
er's to live just because he was about
to rent a flat that she did not like. In
unmistakable terms the judge told
"her that her place was with her hus
band wherever lie might choose to
"Number, please," called centrr.l.
"Why, I was talking to a party,"
protested the s. w.
"They hung up," said central.'
Pittsburgh. "Hit the negro in tha
eye." A visitor at the Sherndon Meth
odist church fair accepted the chal
lenge. His first ball caught the black
dodger squarely in the head and sn.t
him to dreamland.