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Newspaper Page Text
One of life's little miracles: Win
ning a ball game when the opposing
team appears to have heaps of stock
in a blacksmith shop full of horse
shoes. k What's become of the old time
r hayrack parties?
With Wortman and Zeider and Knabe
With Fische and Archer all chuck
full of vim;
, With Williams and Saier and Schulte
and Mann, '
With Lavender, Packard and
Flack and the pan:
With Hendricks and Vaughn and Mc-
Connell to heave,
With Prendergast, Clemens and
Tink, we believe .
That the Cubs ought to win a lot
more than they do,
But they don't, or they won't, say
folks, what thinkest you?
The afternoon pest, alias Hearst's
American, insists on picking on a
man when he is somewhat in a rut
Why not let Orpet rest as long as he
has been cleared of the murder
charge? Anything to fill up the pa
per seems to be the American's po
licy. The sharks in this territory
are man-trimming instead of
man-eating. They get lots of us
Guess the crew of the Deutschland
believes in seeing "America first."
xIt might be a good business prop
osition for all auto dealers to throw
in a shower bath these days every
time they sell a buzz wagon.
Let's take a trip to the bath
ing beaches and see the sights.
There are plenty of them, sure
Indoor shorts: Change.
Cause lor silence: "Ladies
and gentlemen, is there anybody
I in the audience who will let me
take their derby while I do a
Old timers: "Loan me two-bits."
Many a woman's beautiful sun
burst of jewels come after a fearful
storm of protest
The shark scare doesn't hit ds.
We weren't going to the seashore
It's funny how all the tall women
are wearing the striped skirts.
There should always be a P. S.
to any letter or conversation
concerning public offices. Said
"P. S." meaning private snap.
Here is about the conversation of
a 3-year-old youngster between the
time he or she is undressed at night
and the time he or she falls off to
"I wanna ice cream cone.
"Where's daddy, mamma?
"Lemme play with my play toys,
"I ain't a baby. I'm a big boy,
ain't a mamma?
"I wanna dink a wader.
"Ice in it
"Gimme a cookie, will ya? ,
"Do I have to get in my own bed?
"Good night, daddy.
"Good night, mamma.
"Aren't you comin' to bed, mam
ma? "Where's dady, mamma?
"I wanna dink a wader.
"Gimme another cookie, will ya?
"Kiss me good-night, mamma!
"Tell daddy to kiss me good-night
"I wanna come in your bed."
H. M. C.
"I tell you," said Poots, "there is
an indescribable sense of luxury in
lying in bed and ringing one's bell
for his valet"
"Have you a valet?" asked Poots'
"No, but I have a SelL"