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Newspaper Page Text
HAIL, HAIL, THE GANG'S ALL HERE
One of life's little miracles: Get
ting any pressure out of the garden
hose about 7 o'clock in the evening.
What's become of the old-fashioh-ed
The tango's sort of slipped away,
The bunny hug has gone;
It's too blamed. hot to dance nowa
days From night time until dawn.
It seems the waltz is near forgot,
The two-step's on the hummer;
The pigeon-walk and turkey trot
Have left us for the summer.
The slidy glide has slid away.
All dancing has the pip;
Except the one that people do
At beaches; it's the dip.
HAVE A SALTY DOG!
Eagle Pass, TexT 'At "Dinty
Moore's" they serve a brand new
drink the "salty dog',' and the
Kansas, Maryland and Vermont mi
litia are going crazy about it It's a
lime squashed in carbonated water
and served unsweetened, with a. cel
lar of salt
Baltimore has ordered that
after 73 passengers have crowd- ,
ed on a street car it must not
take on any more. "Next car,
please." If Chicago had enough,
cars that might be a good plan
Think it's hot? Just imagine
yourself up in Mlnnedbsa, Mani
toba. Yesterday the mercury was
QOwn iu me xurty puinu I
So far no substitute for gasoline I
has been discovered cheaper than
shoe leather. And nothing more re
liable. Chicago beaches sure take
care of slews of folks nicely.
The only suggestion that we can
make is that 'Clarendon get an
other person to give out bathing
suits. Last Sunday there were
two ticket sellers, but only one
person handing out the dip gar-.
Cold cream and sunburned backs
are the best of friends these days.
Last season a. girl with no stock
ings on at a bathing beach attracted
much attention. This year when
nearly all of the fair dippers go bare
legged it isn't half as noticeable.
The war department is in the mar
ket for 14,000 tombstones. There is
real preparedness for you!
Future disposition of Poland
- is yet unsettled, so the news re
ports tell us. sThe disposition of
all of Europe looks quite uncer
tain to us.
One of the saddest sights of the
season is to see a famous cartoonist
lending his talent to the hypocritical
anti-Wilson policy of the Trib.
Cause for silence: "Which one oi
you three youngsters has been into
this apple pie?"
They don't agree: Cherries and
Old timens: "I'm just 16 to
day." AN INCIDENT!
Red-faced, begrimed, weary, a
man shuffled up to a chair in front of
a big hotel. He dropped into it and
lay there like a soaked rag.
The hotel clerk came out.
"Get up out of here," he ordered,
kicking the wretch in the shins. The
reply was an empty, dreamy look.
"Come on, get up," repeated the
clerk, and he pulled the man out of
the chair. The victim toppled over.