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Newspaper Page Text
THE PLAN BACK-FIRED
Manager Hughie Jennings of the
Detroit tigers tells this one on him
"I attended a big political meeting
down in Scranton not long ago,"
says Hughie, "and in due course of
time was called on to speak, which I
did reluctantly, as oratory is not my
long suit As soon as I got up on
the platform a man in the rear of the
hall kept yelling: 'Jennings, give us
Hughie Jennings !' I tried to begin my
remarks, but was unable to make
any headway at all because this
leather-lunged fellow insisted on bel
lowing out my name with a demand
for a speech. Finally it got so bad
that one of the police officers went
to him and threatened him with ex
pulsion if he didn't desist.
" 'What are you making all this
fuss about Jennings for?' demanded
the officer. 'That's Jennings on the
platform now trying to speak. Give
him a chance.'
" 'Jennings, your aunt!' came bar
the shouter, 'that guy up there is the
fellow who gave me $2 awhile ago to
yell for Jennings.' " American Boy.
"My poems are the children of my
"They should be sent to a reform
"I have nothing but praise for the
"So I noticed when the plate came
"Is Jones conceited?"
"Well, he thinks he understands
the Glerman and Mexican question
and women." Judge.
I LONG ONES
He Just one more kiss before I
She No; it's now eleven, and I
must get to bed by midnight Judee.
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Lemme at 'lm! Lemme at 'em, jes
Qlam yourself, Leslie, clam thyself.
We don't blame you, but just sit
down and don't bite all the upholster
ing off the back of the chair while
we do a Chautauqua about this
This is the simp that always wants
to bet. Every other mouthful is:
"Money talks, see! I'll betcha a
half, I'll take yuh up on that an give
yuh 3 to 1. See, 1 tqjd yuh! you're
larpy, you're yellow."
Then he stuffs the case note in his
pocket qjid struts around as though
he won tie argument When there's
the slightest doubt about anything,
this pest makes a dive for his pocket
for the dollar to bet with. ,
Do they ever really make a bet,
Merrill? Is a cat fond of swimming,
Herbert? These simps are so cheap
they wouldnt risk a nickel to see an
A RATTLING GOOD CAR
Judge You say you are suing this
man because he did not blow his horn
before he ran into you.
Plaintiff I didn't say he didn't
blow his horn. I said that I couldn't
hear it His blamed old car rattled
She r hear that Jack has a new
He No, that's just his old one
Dainted over. Penn State Froth