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Newspaper Page Text
THE DOPED AUTO
By Frances Elizabeth Lanyon
(Copyright, 1916, W. G. Chapman)
"Don't be foolish, Edgar, an auto
mobile is too expensive a luxury for
us," declared Mrs. Ross.
"I'm the paymaster," retorted her
husband, smartly. "I fancy I earn
as much money as that self-conceited
Arthur Riggs. Humph! I'll wager
a month's salary he's buying that
cheap machine of his on instal
ments." "Suppose he is or isn't?" propound
ed practical Mrs. Ross. "I've got too
much sense to let envy or spite or
emulation force me into a foolish ac
tion." "But he whizzed that tin Lizzie of
his past us with a haughty stare, as
if he was some emperor or we were
scrubs. No, sir. He don't lord it
over yours truly! I'm going to take
the starch out of him. I'm going to
make him wilt like a dishrag. I'm
going to make that snub-nosed wife
if his understand that you don't have
to walk. I'm going to get a machine
that will put his in the dust currents
whenever I overtake him."
"Really, Edgar," remonstrated
Mrs. Ross, "you are getting absolute
"Nuff said, Nettie!" returned, her
husband, definitely. "I'm negotiating
for a high-powered five-passenger
car that cost $3,500."
"Oh, Edgar!" gasped Mrs. Ross.
"Originally. I've got a friend who
has put me up against a friend of his,
a broker in automobiles. The trader
is going to give me a bargain, and
what do you think? Don't let it out,
but, by paying cash as on the nail
head, I get the machine for $400."
"But, Edgar, it's an old car."
"People will never know it unless
you tell them, declared Ross.
"Of course I won't do that."
"It's been repainted in blue, lined
"with white, new lamps and fender, 1
and fast ha! ha! It'll make that cad
Riggs turn black in the face when I
set him a pace. That's the one thing
I insisted on with the broker
Ross had found out that his neigh
bor's car could run up to 40 miles
"If the car I'm buying can't beat
Fussed With Them and Gave It Up.
that I don't want it," he told the
"How's 60?" pertly inquired the
"That hits the mark," acquiesced
Ross. "Can you do it?"
"You want to look out sharp in
dealing with these motor special
ists," a friend warned Ross, while the
latter aws expatiating on "the rare
bargain" he had secured. "You
know second-hand autos and old
horses are susceptible of some decid
edly skilful manipulation."