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Newspaper Page Text
? new york maybe them zeppenlin
rades is a bad thing and maybe they
aint, and the hired gurl what works
at our house says they aint
the other day she got a letter from
her sister that lives in england &
when ma went out in the kitchen
mary, that is her name, was crying
' to beet a bunch of babies
what is the matter, my ma says to
& mary says i gotter letter from
my sister in england and she rites
about a zeppenlin rade on the town
where she lives & the bumbs busted
up the house where she worked &.
neerley killed all the peepel in the
well, that aint so bad my ma tells
her, so dont cry, for you ought to be
glad that your sister wasent killed
I know that, mary said, but now
she is going to be married to 1 or
the 2 handsome polisemen what res
kued her from the house
you shouldent cry about that, my
ma tells her, for now she has a
home of her own & someboddy to
i aint crying about her, mary. said,
i am crying about myself
how do you make that out, my ma
well if i hadent come over heer i
mite have been in that house with
her when the bumbs blowed it up &
the other poliseman was singel too,
mary says, so you can se"e what i
missed by coming over to this country.
Books are man's best friends;
when they bore him he can shut them
up without giving offense.
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
Hats off! Did you ever stop to
think (wrestlers and congressmen
are exempted from this question) of
what use a pig's tail is to him?
It looks like a pretzel minus the
salt. It's almost as stationary as a
He can't chase flies with it like a
Isn't it too bad a cow isn't equipped
with a tail like a pig? Milking would
then be just like an Investigation
nothing to it
This ought to take your mind off
the hot weather, trying to figure out
xwhat use a pig's ail is to him except
as an ornament iu ureau. up uie mo
notony of his figure.
o o -
MIGHT BE IN BASEMENT
"Here's the clockmaker come to
fix our sitting room clock," said the
funny man's wife. "Won't you go
up and get it for him?"
"Why, it isn't upstairs, is it?" re
plied he, lazily.
"Of course, it is. Where did you
think it was?"
"Oh, I thought it had run down."
Teacher "Tommy, can you spell
Thomas "Yes, sir. F-XJ-R."
Teacher "That's right tfow can
you tell me what fur is?"
Thomas "Yes, sir. Fur is an
awful long way."