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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 08, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-08-08/ed-1/seq-17/

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WISDOM
A priest one Sunday was showing
off his class and proceeded to ask one
little boy in the presence of the arch
bishop: "What is matrimony?"
The little boys' eyes bulged out at
the suddenness with which the ques
tion was put, and then he said me
chanically: "Matrimony is a state
of punishment to which some souls
are condemned to suffer for a while
before they are considered good
enough to go to heaven."
"Tut, tut," said the priest "That
is the definition of purgatory."
"Let him alone," said the arch
bishop. "He may be right what do
you and I know about it, anyway?"
Everybody's.
LUCKY
"Joe Smith is the luckiest man I
ever saw."
"What makes you say that?"
"Jim Darrac and I took him out
fishing the other day and he insisted
on using the wrong kind of tackle
and fhe wrong kind of bait, in 3pito
of our advice, and yet he caught
twice as many fish as Jim and I to
gether." o o
A DIPLOMAT
Lady of the House What do you
want?
Weary Walter I am de official
representative of de Woman's
Household Kitchen Culinary Cuisine
league and I'm making a coasts-to-coast
trip testing the favorite recipe
of de most prominent in each town.
Judge.
oo
UNHAPPY
"Well, Bobbie, I suppose you are
having a great time these vacation
days."
"Naw, I ain't. If I go barefooted
maw makes me wash my feet every
night before I go to bed, and if 1
wear shoes and stockin's, I might as
well be goin to schooL N. Y.
World.
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
fr' 5?r "
"Knutty Knowledge"'
Hear ye! Hear ye! To those who
wear their hats on either the left or
right ear no more lying awake
nights, squirming" around the bed. in
anguish on account of the hat rim
rubbing the roof off your ear when
yo utalk.
Harvey L. Tack, an alderman of
Rubbish, Ind., in his spare moments
(24 hours a day) has answered your
prayer by inventing an "ear-easer."
It's funny you never thought of it.
It's a juvenile anti-skid chain that
fits over the top of the ear, thus pre
venting the hat rim from starting
friction with the rim of the ear when
you talk.
At first Harvey will ask a stiff price
for his brainy product, so he can get
established. And if you can't afford
the kale for an "ear-easer" for a
while, to overcome the pain of the
hat rim one-stepping the edge of the
ear when you talk, why, just stop
talking!
o o
BEAR GOES ON SPREE!
Glen Flora, Wis. Herman Bensin
ger reports a bear that broke into his
IDarn was maae axunK Dy armmng
hard cider.
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