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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 15, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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A WEE BIT SANE
While a certain Scotch minister
was conducting religious services in
an asylum for the insane one of the
Inmates cried out wildly:
"I say, have we got to listen to
The minister, surprised and con
fused, turned to the keeper and said:
"Shall I stop speaking?"
The keeper replied: "
"No, no; gang along, gang along;
that will not happen again. That
man has only one lucid moment ev
ery, seven years." Christian Herald.
PAID ROR HIS RIDES
, Asker, the owner-ef a new car, had'
been dilating on the expense of its
maintenance, and Stranger, not to be
outdone, began to boast
Stranger It cost me $100 last
year for gasoline.
Asker You own a car, then?
Stranger Oh, no! I lent the
money to a fellow that does!
NEEDED A BRACER
"What is there about betting on
horse races that is so bad for the
health?" said young Mrs. Brown.
"I never heard of anything."
"Didn't you? Every time Charley
makeB a bet he comes home and
says there is .something wrong with
his system." Tit-Bits-
o o '.
Mrs. Youngbride I'm getting our
' ice from a new man now, dear.
Youngbride What's wrong with
the other man?
Mrs. Youngbride The new dealer
says he'll give us colder ice for the
" A penniless German nobleman was.
courting an American heiress.
"Well, is she going to buy you?"
asked a friends
"Sometimes I dink she is," he re
plied, "but" somedimes I dink she is
onlyjshobblng." " " ' i
Vests are sleeveless coats!
Did you know the excuse for there
being such a thing as a vest?
We thought not. Well, a vest is
a gravy guard for ties, suspender
concealer, a device for carrying
matches, pennies, tobacco coupons,
toothpicks, theater ticket stubs and
Pickpockets only remove the
watch. The rest of the stuff in the
rpockets never removed. It's even
m me podteis wtuie me ve&i. ia get
ting its last joy ride in the junk
Vests make men round' shouldered,
but this can be overcome by remov
ing two of the pockets in front and
hanging them on the back of the
vest thus making it equally bal
anced. o o
HIS ROOF IS A RUG
Farmington, N. M. James Noble
has had a special Najavo rug woven
by Indians in the Ship Rock neigh-
b6rhood. It is SO to 45 feet in dimen
sions. He has placed It over the root
of his house, saying it keeps out tbt
gun and -Is cheaper than reshingUng;
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