Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
GOAT EATS FLIVVER
Moberly, ,Mo. Aaron Frank Is su
ing a Moberly farmer for damages,
alleging that when Frank's "flivver"
was left beside the road during a pic
nic, parts of it were eaten by a goat
from the nearby farm.
COT THERE FIRST
Mrs. Hicks (relating burglar
scare) Yds, I heard a noise -and got
up, and there under the bed I saw a
, Mrs. Wicks Mercv! the burelar'R?
vMrs. Hicks No, my husband's; he
had heard the noise, too.
"Our whole neighborhood has been
stirred up," said the regular reader.
The editor of the country weekly
seized his pen. "Tell me about it,"
he said. "What we want -is news.
What stirred it up?"
"Plowing," said the farmer.
NO MORE WORRY
Mr. Manley "My dear, I've ha"d
my life insured for $5,000."
Mrs. Manley "How very sensible
of you! Now I sha'n't have to keep
telling you to be so' careful every
place you gcfc!'
Mrs. von Speederly. Why, if I
didn't help Jack to Bave I don't know
where we would land! fhe extrava
gant fellow would pa his creditors
thirty cents on a dollar tomorrow If
I would let himf
There would be no objection to
boys being boys If they woulu only
be men after they get to be mea.
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Each iead is equipped with a pair,
of catching gloves, known as ears,
to catch sounds!
They never fail to catch anything,
but some HEADS muff everything
the ears catch,' especially as is the
case with policemen.
Some ears stick out prominently
on the side of .the head like real es
tate signs, while others lay ,flat like
a, pancake on the floor, or a pedes
trian In the wake of a flock of auto
mobiles on the asphalt.
Women always keep their ears'
covered with hair. They seem to
have some reason for doing this, al
though we couldn't find out. We fig
ured maybe the receivers of party
line telephones slightly disfigure
The mechanism on small boys
ears is remarkably wonderfuL They
automatically shut off on such
sounds as this: "Harry, I want you
to go to the grocery for some onions."
They can't hear it, even" if the
sound only came from a distance of
two feet But if somebody in the
parlor should whisper "How would it
be to send out for some ice cream?"
would they hear it? Would they,
well, I guess.
Conversation on a country road:
"What makes you sit uq there and
toot the horn?"
"Charley told me to," replied tho
fair one, "so I won't hear the things
he says while 'he's fixing" the machine."
.... .tr eAxL