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Newspaper Page Text
"jviwwpw"pp vf - TAKING THINGS EASY In the southern part 'of Arkan sas," says Sen. Overman, "where the natives take things easy, a man and wife were sitting on their, porch when a funeral procession passed. The man -was comfortably seated in a chair that was tilted back against the house and was whittling a piece of wood. As the procession passed he said: " 'I reckon oT man Williams has got about! the biggest funeral that has ever been held around 'hyer, Caroline.' ''A purty good-sized, one, is it, Bui? 'queried the wife; making no ef fort to move. " 'Certainly is!' Bud answered. "'I surely would like to see it,' said the woman, 'What a pity I ain't facin' that way!' " Youth's Com panion. o o ' A MISTAKE WilUs Tpo bad about Bump. He has had his new car only a week and in that time it hasn't broken down of back-fired once, has run like a clock and hasn't used any more gas oline than the catalogue said; it would GUHs Why too bad, ihen? ' WUlis-The company has started suit to get it away from him. Gillis On whatgroundsj? Willis They claim they 'gave him a demopstra,tor's car by mistake. Judge. o o SHE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT "Look, mother," said little Bpbby, proudly exhibiting a hatful of mar bles, "I won allthese from Willie Smith." ' "Why, Bobbie," exclaimed hia mother, "don't you knov it's wicked to play marbles for keeps? Go right over to wnue s nouse ana give mm back every one of his marbles-." "Yes, mother," said the boyv obe diently. "And shall I take thatvase sou won at Mrs. Smith's whist party and give it baca to B.er-7'" u T AINT NATURE WONDERFUL! Hands Hands are flat projections, on the end of the arms, each divided equally into five spaghetti looking objects called fingers. When the fingers are bent in and ' folded (except with pickpockets they only "bend in" somebody else's pocket) they are called fists.. Hands are the cause of bargain sales, the "slightly soiled" bargains. Some people use their brajns to make-money, but the majority rely on the hands, as is the case with, prize fighters, cartoonists and traffic policemen. Some fellows have used their handsto make money, but don't try it their way, because you won't get a chance td "see America first" Hands are also used for 'talking and ending arguments, that is, some people's idea of ending an argument is to let the hand float up till the other fellow's nose stops it Women use their hands a great deal for grasping telephone receiv ers, diving into purses, powdering noses and doing up hair. Small boys' hands are never found under water faucets. lQ Q PLAYING HOUSE "Let's play nouse," suggested five- year-oia auco -u uw iwra oroiner, Ned. "All right," he agreed, "you get the broom and be the mother, and I'll get the newspaper and be the father." ..,-.-A.a aaAAAAAAAAAA