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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 22, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-08-22/ed-1/seq-17/

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TAKING THINGS EASY
In the southern part 'of Arkan
sas," says Sen. Overman, "where the
natives take things easy, a man and
wife were sitting on their, porch
when a funeral procession passed.
The man -was comfortably seated in
a chair that was tilted back against
the house and was whittling a piece
of wood. As the procession passed
he said:
" 'I reckon oT man Williams has
got about! the biggest funeral that
has ever been held around 'hyer,
Caroline.'
''A purty good-sized, one, is it,
Bui? 'queried the wife; making no ef
fort to move.
" 'Certainly is!' Bud answered.
"'I surely would like to see it,'
said the woman, 'What a pity I ain't
facin' that way!' " Youth's Com
panion. o o '
A MISTAKE
WilUs Tpo bad about Bump. He
has had his new car only a week and
in that time it hasn't broken down
of back-fired once, has run like a
clock and hasn't used any more gas
oline than the catalogue said; it
would
GUHs Why too bad, ihen? '
WUlis-The company has started
suit to get it away from him.
Gillis On whatgroundsj?
Willis They claim they 'gave him
a demopstra,tor's car by mistake.
Judge.
o o
SHE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT
"Look, mother," said little Bpbby,
proudly exhibiting a hatful of mar
bles, "I won allthese from Willie
Smith."
' "Why, Bobbie," exclaimed hia
mother, "don't you knov it's wicked
to play marbles for keeps? Go right
over to wnue s nouse ana give mm
back every one of his marbles-."
"Yes, mother," said the boyv obe
diently. "And shall I take thatvase
sou won at Mrs. Smith's whist party
and give it baca to B.er-7'" u
T AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
Hands
Hands are flat projections, on the
end of the arms, each divided equally
into five spaghetti looking objects
called fingers.
When the fingers are bent in and '
folded (except with pickpockets
they only "bend in" somebody else's
pocket) they are called fists..
Hands are the cause of bargain
sales, the "slightly soiled" bargains.
Some people use their brajns to
make-money, but the majority rely
on the hands, as is the case with,
prize fighters, cartoonists and traffic
policemen.
Some fellows have used their
handsto make money, but don't try
it their way, because you won't get
a chance td "see America first"
Hands are also used for 'talking
and ending arguments, that is, some
people's idea of ending an argument
is to let the hand float up till the
other fellow's nose stops it
Women use their hands a great
deal for grasping telephone receiv
ers, diving into purses, powdering
noses and doing up hair.
Small boys' hands are never found
under water faucets.
lQ Q
PLAYING HOUSE
"Let's play nouse," suggested five-
year-oia auco -u uw iwra oroiner,
Ned. "All right," he agreed, "you
get the broom and be the mother,
and I'll get the newspaper and be the
father."
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