OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 26, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-08-26/ed-1/seq-17/

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mmmmmmmmvmimmm
. UNNECESSARY TROUBLE
"Henry!" Henry!" exclaimed h$S
wife, shaking him vigorously. "I
hear somebody down stairs. Go
down and see if it's a burglan"
"Lemme alone," muttered her
husband sleepily. "That's only the
cat you hear."
"No, it is not the cat. Listen! Do
you hear that? I'm sure it's a burg
lar." "Well, if you're sure it's a burg
lar what's the sense of my going
down to see?" N. Y. World.
WOULD HE TAKE HER ALONG?
"I wish I had money enough to get
married," he remarked.
She looked down and blushed.
"And-what would you do?" she
asked, looking very hard at the car
pet "I would spend it traveling," he re
plied. ,
WIRING TO HOBBY
Summer Resort Telegraph Opera
tor (reading the message)' "Send
me $125 immediately without fail.
Love and kisses." Three words too
many, madam.
She How perfectly horrid! Well,
suppose you cut out the last three.
Judge.
FATHER'S FAULT
Eather I understand you were se
verely punished by the teacher today.
Son Yes, and it was all your fault.
Father How's that?
Son Well, yesterday when I asked
you how much a million was you
said it was a helluvalot and that
wasn't the answer at all. Judge.
UNPROFITABLE
A sbc-weeks'-old calf was nibbling
at the grass in the yard and was
Viewed in silence for some minutes
by the city girl.
"Tell me," she said, turning impul
sively to her hostess, "does it really"
pay you to keep as small a cow as
that?" Harper's MaEazinfc. j
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
'
Knutty Knowledge
They say opportunity knocks only
onjce, but fllwers knock more.
Here's a remarkable case of a fel
low hearing the clawhammer of op
portunity one-Stepping on his white
pine front door.
Mr. E. Bony of Eggville, HL, one
night at BUpper while picking the
slivers out of a bluefish,. saw a
greedy fly slide on a sheet of sticky
flypaper.
BlamH a idea why not make nu
tritious glue for stamps and en
velopes? -
Great!
Mr. EBony's fortune Is made.
Glue flavored like a regular coarse
dinner, from soup flavored glue to
nut flavor.
Here's how this wonderful brain
buret of Mr. E. Bony's will have
thousands of dollars for big firms
that send out thousands of envelopes
daily.
First, Mr. E. Bony sells his nutri
tious glue to the government for use
on stamps, then hesells envelopes to
these firms with nutritious glue flaps
in all flavors.
Here's where the big idea comes
in: The firms can throw away their
stamp-envelope licking machines
and hire peoplpe to do the work for
50 cents a day.
What d'ye mean, work for 50
cents a day?
Why, sure, 50 cents a day and
their meals get us?
Great idea, what?
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