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Newspaper Page Text
, THE PRAYER HE NEEDED
The following amusing Incident
was witnessed the other day at a
London railway terminus. A Salva
tion Army lassie was selling The War
Cry at the windows of the trains. In
one of the compartments were a
number of "knuts," and one of them,
thinking to have some fun at the ex
pense, of the sister, asked her if she
would offer up a word of prayer for
Rising to the occasion, the sister
put her hand on his head and to the
amusement of thpse within hearing
distance, replied: .
"Oh, Lord, make this young man's
heart as soft s his head." r
HAD TO USE HIS HANDS
Ephum Johnson was up before the
judge on a cruelty to animal charge.
" 'Deed Ah wasn't abusin' dat
mule,' jedge," the old man demurred.
"Did you not strike it repeatedly
with a club."
"And do you not know that you
can accomplish more with animals
by speaking to them?"
"Yessah; but dis critter am diff'nt
He am so deef he can't heah me when
Ah speaks to him in de usual way, so
Ah has to communicate wid hm in
de sign language."
NO SPEED MERCHANT f
Gloom (in restaurant, having
waited 15 minutes for his soup)
Waiter, have you ever been to the
Waiter No, sir.
Gloom WelL you ought to go.
You'd enjoy watching the tortoises
- HE OWNS UP
"Simple Simon went aflshing in
his mauler's pail."
"Not so simple a,t that," declared
the amateur sportsman. "I've spent
time and money getting to a place
where the likelihood of catching fish
was no whit greater."
L AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
Arrows point to the theme of this
A bullhead is a one-way piece of
machinery without a reverse gear.
A bullhead is a goof, who, when
-told something for his own good,
sniffs at you and says: G wan, yub
poor Luke, I know what I'm doin',"
and when you come down' to pol
ished tacks he doesn't know what
he's doing any more than a wrestler.
Wjsa guys aay: "It takes two to
make a fight," but Norman, it only
takes on bullhead to start something.
The prizewinning bullheads are
the crown wearers of Europe. Just
look what the rattling of the royal
bullheads has started.
Science has it fixed now so &at if
anybody is shy in the knot they can
remedy it by overhauling the brain,
but the bullheads will have to go on
the way they are. Why is that, Os
wald? Shh! Jake! (bullheads ain't
got no brains.)
"I wouldn't o' had no trouble wif
de constable ner nobody," said Eras
tus Pinkley, "if it hadn't been for
woman's love o' dress."
"What has dress got to do with
it?" asked the jailer. "
"My woman folks warn't satisfied
to eat mos' of de chicken. Dey had
to put de feathers in deir hats and
parade 'em as circumstantial evii
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