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Newspaper Page Text
Wealth la variously estimated "in
different parts of the country. "Bud"
Bowers had grown to manhood in
onTof the most inaccessible commu
nities in Southern Missouri. Weary
Jng at last of the monotony of his life
he grew eager to leave the hills. His
father, who was a hunter and trap
per of much local renown, stoutly
"But what chanst has a young
fella to git ahead here, Fd like to
know?" gloomily demanded Bud.
"What chanst?" ejaculated his fa
ther. "Why, jest look at me, son.
When I fust, come here from Kain
tucky I didn't have nothing' not
fiothin'. And jest look at me now
I got nine dawgs!" Everybody's.
Dora-i-"Look, mother, I'm en
Mother "But, dear child, you,are
entirely too youngtd be thinking of
Dora -"Why, mother, who said
anything about marriage?"
.CREATED HE THEM
Man (gazing at the fashions in the
windows) Are those bathing suits,
Woman Dear, no; do you think
any one would go bathing clothed
like that! They're evening gowns.
Salesman This is our new patent
buttonless tan boot, sir "Banana
Customer What ever makes you
give it such a peculiar name?
Salesman-' Because, sir, it is yel
low and so easy to slip tin.
- HE QUALIFIED
"My daughter," said the father,
"has always been accustomed to all
the luxuries of wealth."
"YeesYeplied the count, bristling
tip. "Zat ees what I am."
( AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
dfUJS AHeRU j
Labor day is a day in September
set aside for the laboring man to
take a day of for rest.
The rest means parades, listening
to speeches in which capital is un
raveled and roasted 'and family pic
nics. The parades are gradually fading
away.- The old labor day parade had
a sober start and a stew finish. -They
all dolled up in white hats and car
ried canes. The canes being a case
of preparedness for coming home
after the parade, acted as a crutch
ancf later on when home was reached
The labor day parade consists of
different trades carrying banners
and marching a la foot, headed by a
flock of automobiles. The fellows in
the autos don't carry banners telling
what trade they're in because every
body knows they're plumbers.
Only worklngmen are In the pa
rades, so don't look for any wres
tlers, fnilllnery salesmen, floorwalk
ers, movie actors or politicians In
" 0 O ;
"When I was a boy," said the gray
haired physician, who happened to
be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted
to be a soldier; but my parents per
suaded me to study medicine." '
"Oh, well," rejoined the sympa
thetic druggist, "such is life. Many
a man with -wholesale aspirations
has to content himself with a retail
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