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I swear. My wife's going to leave
me yes, I knew you'd heard about
her from 'those old hens behind the
counter. They're always ready to
, stick a knife into a feller. Anyway,
she's going to leave me, the Lord be
praised, and I'll do the right thing by
you just as soon as I can get the
divorce. What do you say, girlie?"
At that moment, before Miss Jones
could answer, an elderly gentleman,
with a scholarly look, which would
have made it almost impossible to
identify him wit the ownership of a
department store, came slowly to
ward them from the crowd. Mr. Wa
ters cursed under his breath. It was
"Say, there's the boss," he whis
pered to the girl. "Be a good sport,
kid, and play up to me."
"Good evening, Waters," said Mr.
Fitton casually. "Seeing the sights?"
. "Yes, sir," said the manager.
"I came down to have a look about
me," said Mr. Fitton, watching Miss
Jones rather intently, and then look
ing inquiringly at Waters.
"My sister-in-law, sir," said Wa
ters. "Came up to town from Penn
sylvania this morning, and the wife
asked me to bring her along to Coney
and show her the sights."
"I am surprised to hear you say
that, Waters," said Mr. Fitton, mild
ly. "IJow, sir?" inquired the other, un
abashed. "Because she happens to be my
daughter," returned his employer.
"Just home from Vassar and study
ing the methods in the store in an
ticipation of the day when she will
"I'm going to take-hold soon," said
Miss Dorothy. "I'm sorry for what I
did to you yesterday, in the doorway,
Mr. Waters. I'm sorry I didn't do
more. But I'm gojng to now."
And before anyone understood
what was happening, she has deftly
unfolded her umbrella and pulled out
a lithe. and very interesting horse-jvhip.
"Great Caesar!" shouted the man
ager, putting up his hands. "Don't
use that on me. I'm sorry, Miss Fit
ton. If I'd have known who you
Whir! The lash coiled itself about
his legs, and he leaped and yelled
with agony. Instantly a crowd gath
ered about them. Whir! It descend
ed on the manager's back and should
ers. Waters turned to fly, but the
crowd, shouting approvingly, barred
The way the girl plied the lash
was something to be remembered,
everyone agreed. In half a minute
Waters was rolling on the ground in
agony. And the lash never ceased
till Waters fainted from sheer pain
and terror. Then Miss Dorothy
broke the butt across his shoulders
and left him.
"You see, father, dear, it takes
modern methods to run a department
store," she explained to the old gen
tleman, who had reluctantly agreed
to meet her there that evening.
And, escorted by a cheering throng,
their auto rolled away.
(Copyright, 1916, W. G. Chapman) ,
THEY BOTH TROTTED
A smart New York girl at New
port last summer administered a
clever rebuke to a blase, patron
izing young Englishman whom she
, The girl overheard her hostess say
that she wished to introduce the
Briton to her (the New York girl)
and the girl also caught his reply:
"Very well, trot her out"
When the Englishman was pre
sented the girl bowed, carefully sur
veyed him from head to foot and then
quietly said to her hostess: '
"Thank you. Now trot him-back,
To catch burglars an Englishman
has patented mechanism to drop a
person who steps in front of a safe
at certain hours into a pit, doors clos
ing over him.