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Newspaper Page Text
ITHE DAY BOOK!
N. D. COCHRAN
EDITOR ANT PUBLISHER..
500 8. FEOIUA ST. CHICAGO, ILL.
TelpnhnriP Editorial. Monroe 333
1 eiepnonet oircnlatlon. Monro 3M6
SUBSCRIPTION By Carrier In Chi
cago, 30 cents a Month. By Mall.
United States and Canada. 13 00
Entered as second-class matter Apiil
21. 1914. at the postoffire at ChleaKO,
111., under the Act of March 3, 1879.
CORPORAL JOE. Gee, but that
was a tough wallop Corporal Joe
Patterson handed Cousin Bertie Mc
Cormlck when Joe refused to be
promoted to a lieutenancy in the
millionaire battery because he didn't
think he was qualified for. the job.
For Cousin Bertie started off as a
full-fledged major of "cavahy and
those who know 'em both say that if
Cousin Joe isn't qualified to be a lieu
tenant, then Cousin Bertie would
have to go some to qualify as a plain
private. Anyhow, we've got to hand
it to Cousin Joe for having the cour
age of his deficiency, as well as a
keen sense of the eternal fitness of
things. While our two distinguished
Trib publishers are doing" duty as big
policemen on the border, it is inter
esting to note that Cousin Joe is will
ing to do time as a plain-clothes man
while Cousin Bertie continues" " tc
shine as a harness bull on horseback.
In the meantime, the Trib is giving a
lifelike exhibition as an army mule.
t into them all along the line, making .
them understand they must come in
thoroughly licked and go on proba
tion until further orders- Which, you
will admit, is rather tough treatment
for Christian soldiers. To be good -Republicans
they must fall down and ;
worship such prophets as Murray
Crane, Reed Smoot, Boies Penrose,'1
Bill Barnes, little Vic Rosewater,
Root, Gallinger, Cannon and others"
of blessed memory. It's a sad home-'-r
coming for a prodigal son when his -older
brothers tell him tp go out to
the pig pen and make, himself per
fectly at home--and then give him '
the- laugh to boot
NO BARBECUE FOR THEM.
Those Progressives who meekly fol
lowed T. R. and Perkins back into
the G. O. P. camp with the expecta
tion they would be put on a diet of
fatted calf right away are now wak
ing up to the disagreeable fact that
t&ey are expected to keep on chew
ing husks and sleeping in the pig pen.
The Old Guard bosses .are rubbing it
AN INTERESTING TEST. The
presidential campaign will give Chi
cago an interesting test of newspa- '
per strength. The News, Tribune,
Examiner, Americajr and Post are';
hammering Wilson, with the Herald
leaning that way. And Wilson wpl
have to worry along with the, sup-'
port of The Day Book, aided more1
or less by the Journal. Now if Wil- '
son carries Chicago, won't that be
tough on the Trib, Exam, American,
News and Post?
HOW WE ARE RULED
First Alderman 7 Here's a fine
Second Ditto You are right.
What's the best thing to do with it?
"Let's have it dug up for a sewer." tt
"But wouldn't it be proper to pave
"Of course; I thought you would
understand that Then after it is
paved and a drain -put in, we'll have
"All in readiness to be dug up again
for the gas-pipe? I see you under-r
stand the principles 'Of municipal'
economy. And after we have had it
repaved for the second time, then "
"Well, then it will be ready for wid-'
ening. There's nothing I admire so
much as system in the care and in
provement of our roadways." T