Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
new york did you ever step on a
gurl's foot & apbllergize to her & get
verry red in the fase because she
gave you such a meen kind of a look
like s if to say, you grate big cjum
sey boob, why dont you walk on your
own feet? ?
(i get it that when you slip "over 2
kweshuns in 1 mouthful of talk you
put in 2 of these ?? things)
..well a brite lad busted into the lex
ington ave car the other A- M. and he
was in, such a hurry to get up to a
vacant seet in front that he tripped
over a purty gurl's feet what, was
sticking out in the isle
the gurl jumped up kwick and said,
i dont see why some peepel dont take
"the trubbel to look where they are
going, and she gave the guy a awful
any nother'man would have mum
bled about being sorry & beat It away
but this feller dident do no such
thing, he pulled the nisest kind of a
play i exer herd .
he says to the gurl, if your feet
were larger perhaps I wood have no
Used them & ttie.-aksident would have
been avoided, but they being so small
it is no wonder that i stepped on
the gurl smiled
everybody else smiled
11 feller yelled out loud, pin a rose
on that lad
THE WORST OF ALL
Son Despots don't get much com
fort out of life, do they, pa?
Father Well, your mother seems
A!NT NATURE WONDERFUL!
A mustache is an over-f eoeyebrow
that is, someof them are.
The ones on young Romeos are
like payday and Saturday afternoon
they're a long time coming, and
when they do arrive, after much
praying, coaxing and farming; they
look like a toothbrush that was hor-
rifi.cally beaten up by dandruff and
then pounced on by a drove of, moths.
There are two reasons for these
"first voters" cultivating "shadows."
They!re either in love (anything will
happen' in that state) or 'the
"sprouts" help to fill up a vacant por
tion Of the mug like a shade tree on
the front lawn.
When the mustache becomes
white, a beautiful autumn effect can
be had by drinking coffee or by
gnawing cut plug.
IT TOOK TIME
-Doctor Well, Patrick,, how are
you feeling today?
pat Oh, doctQr, I feel worse than
Doctor What! Didn't you take
the pills I gave you?
Pat Of course, but- I'm not sure
If the lid has-come off the b6x yet
o o "
Rpp.tor feoine-his rounds) Fine
pig that, Mr. Dibbles; uncommonly
Contemplative Villager Ah,' yes,
sir; if we was only all" of us as fit to
die as him, sir!
- - ACW-. -'- - X - atlMCMutLmMMAMtmmAi