Newspaper Page Text
A squad of recruits -were getting
rid of some ammunition on the range
the other day, and the sergeant in
charge began to use strong language
as the firing proceeded and the target
"What! Missed again?" he roared,
as an unfortunate recruit cut up the
dust for the seventh consecutive
time. "I don't believe you could hit
a furniture van." '
"Oh, you needn't crow, sergeant,"
detorted the recruit; "you missed a
o o '
HAD NOT TRAVELED THAT FAR
She was from, Boston; he from
Oklahorrfa. "You have traveled a
great deal in the west, have you
not, Miss Bacon?" .
"Oh, yes, indeed in California
and Arizona and even, in New Mex
ico." "And did you ever see the Chero
kee strip?" i
There was a painful silence, but
finally she looked over her glasses
at him and said: 'HBir, I deem your
question exceedingly rude."
SAILOR OR SOLDIER
Acountry woman and 'her daugh
ter went into a shop in town to buy
a bonnet The millinery, turning to
the woman, said: - t
rWhat about a sailor?" (meaning
of course, a hat).
It was evident the woman misun
derstood the meaning of the obser
vation, for she replied:
"What about a soldier for your
self?" o o
KNEW WHAT,HE WANTED
Customer I want to get a dog
collar; something handsome and
jjealer Will this one do?
Customer No; I'd like something
more expensive than that You see,
it's my wife's dog, and I'd like to get i
some 6ne to steal it 1
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL
Mazuma, geld, seeds, berries, iron
men, rocks, kale, simoleons, or what
ever you want to label it, is what
makes, us get up at 6 o'clock in the
a. m., go through a hurried wash, for
getting to dry the ears, throw a
couple of doughnuts in our feed har
bor, followed by a gargle of scalding
coffee, and then a dash to the office
to give the time clock a straight from
the shoulder wallop on the beezer so
that we'll be able to enjoy what is
known' as the "grin hour" or 12
o'clock Saturday noon when the
shekels are scattered by the "ghost"
Most everybody has to work hard for
the mazuma except promoters, poli
ticians and Florida real estate men.
Movie actors and prizefighters re
reive enormous sums of mazuma for
their efforts, according to their press
agents. We call their money "rubber
rubles" because it stretches like va
cation fish and golf link lies. Really,
Ralph, the interest of the most of
their supposed-toffee salaries couldn't
get you past the front door of a pen
Judge Why did you strike this
Prisoner He called me a liar, youi;
Judge That is no excuse. i
Prisoner Well, judge, it was .my
first experience. What does yosr:
honor do in such cases?
- V- JIrli- Jt -. m m ..m. . m. m. i - ...M.-.-m-mait-jm,m-LJt-AiML4