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Newspaper Page Text
HE COT IT
"Please, mother, can I have a piece
"Jus't a teeny little piece?"
"No, Freddie. You cannot have
any cake at alL"
"Can I have a cooky then?"
"Aw, please! Jjust one little cooky."
"No, Freddy. , You have just had
your lunchedn and you can't possi
bly be hungry so soon. Run away
and play and don't bother me any
more." t v
"Don't you like to have people ap
preciate your cooking, mother?"
N. Y. World.
PRESERVING THE WRECKAGE
Bobby came home in bad shape
one day with his face bruised and
battered and two of his front teeth
missing. Upon cross-examination
he admitted that he had been in
volved in a physical difficulty with
another boy, who had apparently
held his own 'welL
"Now, Bobby," his mother said. "I
told you not to fight, but you have
been at it again and have lost two of
"Aw, no, I didn't lose 'em," said
Bobby cheerfully. "I've got 'em both
in my pocket" Ladies' Home Journal
PREPARING THEM .
A young man, an only son, married
again his parents' wishes. . After
ward, in telling a friend how tabreak
the news to them, he said:
"Start off by telling them that I
am dead and then gently work up to
"You are the fourth tramp who
has come here begging today," said
the lady of the house, "and I'm all
out of patience."
"I'm all out o vittles myself," re
plied the tramp. "Couldn't we make
a trade?" N. Y. World,
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
The fellow who invented ,tipping
isn't alive and if he were the odds are
10,000 to 1 he wouldn't be very long?1
Tipping means sliding over an ex
tra piece of mazuma for something
you pay for to a fellow who serves
you and gets a salary for the job.
As usual the public is the goat. Ho
tel, restaurant and barber shop own
ers are in favor of the public tipping
their employes as they don't have to
make out a pay roll.
Can't you picture yourself buying
two pounds of sirloin steak, then
slipping the, butcher an extra ten-
cent piece for no reason at all ex
cept as a tip?
The butcher would 'die of heart
'failure or if his constitution were
strong enough to let him live he
would say to himself: "That goof is"
flooie in the filbert."
We are very much in favor of tip
ping "tip takers" over.
GOT THE WRONG ONE
"May I see Lieut. Barker, please?' ,
she asked at the hospital. She was
"We don't "allow any one but rela
tives to see the patients. Are you a
member of his family?" asked 'the
"Why, yes," she answered blush
ingly. Then boldly, "Why, I am his
"Oh, really," answered the matron.
"I am so glad to meet you. I am the
lieutenant's mother." Ladies' Horn