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Newspaper Page Text
HAD TO OBEY ORDERS
An old colored uncle was found by
the preacher prowling in his ham
yard late ose night
"Uncle Calhoun," said the preach
' er sternly, "it can't be good for your
rheumatism to be prowling 'round
here in the rain and cold.y
"Doctor's orders, sah," the . old
"DoctoVs orders?" said the preach
er. "Did he tell you to go prowling
'round all night?"
"No, sah, not' exactly, sah," said
Uncle Cal, "but he done ordered me
The eminent lecturer had just fin
ished his two hours' talk and he was
walking back to the hotel with one! wind-up of campaign speeches
AINT NATURE, WONDERFUL!
In the fall Mother Nature's busi
ness fails and goes into bankruptcy.
The smell of burning leaves and
moth balls fills the ozone. The wind
is prefty brisk on account of the
of the committeemen.
"Do you think the people heart? me
distinctly?" asked the lecturer ear
nestly. "Some of 'em "did," said the bored
committeeman as he stiflled a yawn,
"for I saw 'em get up and go out."
- s o o
WANTED TO HELP OUT
"They sayJVfrs. Brown hasn't paid
her servants in three months."
"Why does she keep so many of
"She says she feels it her duty to
give employment to as many as pos
sible in these hard times."
THE SILVER LINING
The pessimist was suffering from
rheumatism. "Every bone in" my
body aches," he complained bitterly.
is, "That's all right,"-said the opti-
Smist cheerfully. "You ought to be
glad that you are not a shad."
Ladies' Home Journal.
i THE REASON
''How long did your last cook stay
"On, about five hours." ,
"How did that happen?".
"The afternoon train back to town
ias been discontinued."
In the at m. the air is snappy; at
noon warm, and along about 5:39
the thermometer does a downward
skid that makes the Philadelphia
Americans look almost as high' as the
price of potatoes.
Hoarse throats flourish in the fall,
owing tp world's series and college
yells, but it gets clothing salesmen
The frost gets on the pumpkin and
some vaudeville acts, and the cob
webs grow thicker in the .pocket
book. r . '
We turn around to give the ice
matf the merry ha! ha! and the coal
man comes along and steps on our
The kids scare each other with,
candle-lighted pumpkin faces, while
the grownups turn green at the sight
of the forgotten janitor's mug.
All the birds go south except the
sparrows, panhandlers and other
SOME CANDY T)-1AT
-Gee whiz! Dey got cherries an',
strawberries an' all kinds of fruit
covered wid candy. What kind shall
I get, 'Rastus?" , x
"Get me a chocolate-coated water
melon." N. T. World.