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Newspaper Page Text
JUDGED BY HIS WIFE
Purchaser (bringing back his pur
chase): This dog a the most fero
cious "beast I ever came across, and
you said he was as gentle as a
" Dealer in Canines That's straight
My wife's the only woman I know
WHAT HE'D LIKE TO SEE
"Would you-like to see your wife
go into politics .and be a boss?"
Certainly, replied Mr. Meekton.
"I'll really enjoy having Henrietta
step in ana show some of tjhese prac
tical politicians what a real boss is
HER HUSBAND DID
"Do you take any periodicals?"
asked the minister on his first round
on "parish visit.
"Well, I don't," replied the wom
an, "but my husband takes 'em fre
quent I do wish you'd try to get
him to sign the pledge." ""
o o '
AS THEY ALL DO IT
Plumley Well, you've nerve, I
should say! Asking me for a fiver
and saying nothing about tie ten I
Flimley Why, man, where's your
business-sense? The ten was a war
loan for establishing credit
HER NEW WEAPON
"I see ye've invested in a vacuum
cleaner," a neighbor said to Mrs.
Jones. "Do ye like it better than the
"You bet yer life I do," Mrs. Jones
answered. "I kin knock Jones twice
as fur with it"
Preacher You ought to make
your husba nd think about religion. If
he should die you might worry about
where -he had gone. '
Mrs. Wayupp Oh, no. I'm used
to that I don't know where he is
half the- time now. Judge,.
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
By Gene Ahern
"Babe" Ruth, the Boston Red Sox
pitcher, has never been asked to
write beauty secrets for a woman's
The only things that keep Ernie
Shore, the avjator pitcher, front he
coming a bass drummer are his
All the Red Sox players knock
wood for good luck. As the Braves'
park, where the world series is to be
played, isn't constructed of that ma
terial, it'll be kinda tough for them
unless ' there are some wrestlers
The bird who chirps "The game
ain't over until the last man is out"
makes us think of them great prov
erb, not from Ben Franklin: "Break
fast ain't over until the egg is off the
Some of the streets in Bahston are
so narrow a fellow can't fall over,
and so are the doors leading int6 the
sporting editor's rooms for fans who
want free tickets.
s r O O v
"Mr. Sorrel proposed to me last
'night, mother." $
"And "you accepted him, I hope."
"No, mother. 1 could never love
a man with red hair."
"But my dear girl, you should con
sider the fact that he has very little
of it" N. Y. World. ,
"Life is one grand, sweet song with
us. Isn't it, dear?"
"Yes, wifey." . x
"One grand, sweet song. And this
morning I want( a few ten-dollar
WHAT'S DEEDED FIRST
"What do we need for dinner, Mag
gie?" asked the mistress.
"A new set av dishes, mum," an
swered1 Maggie. "Oi've jest thripped
over the edge av th' rug." LadW