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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, October 05, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1916-10-05/ed-1/seq-17/

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''iuvwkvff,w,
awfe;
n. y. a feller can starve to deth
with a 100-doHer bill in his pocket
heer in this city, if he is a feller -with
pore looking clothes on
1 feller tryd it last week after they
made a bet in his club & they picked
him up the next day in polise cort
after ecksplaning the situation to the
judge
4 or 5 men Were talking & 1 says
to anuther i betcher that you can't
get a bite to eet with a $1,000 willium
in your pocket, & the other lad says
your on, & he puts on a old pair of
clothes & empties his pockets, start
ipg with the $1000 bill only.
he goes in to sevral saloons and
restrants & asts them to change the
bill but they aint got that much
change & as the banks are closed he
is up against it for good
he kept rite on trying & gets noth
ing by it, so he says i will try in some
big hotel, & he rents a room, but as
he aint got no baggidge with him ex
cept this bill he hands that over for
his room rent & the casheer looks
him over & thinks it must be a phony
bill or such a pore man woodent have
it, & the bouncer tosses this feller
out, but that wasent new to him by
that tune for he had been husseld out
of sevral plases before while trying
to get the bill changed
then he goes into a pawnshop and
tries to sell the bill, saying you can
have it for 1 per sent off, buf the
man gets suspicious and calls it a
counterfeit, and makes as though he
was going to call the polls.
about 2 A. M. the-feller gives up
trying to pass the bill & wates until
morning, and then he goes into a
cheep restrant & orders a big feedl
f and then he hands over the'bill, & the
owner calls in the polis & pinches
him on 2 charges, getting a brake
fast under false pretenses and having
counterfeit money, & they said likey
as not he stole"it annyhow a
then his frends shows up & got
him out, but he lost the bet
o o
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
By Gene Ahern
"When in Bahston, do as the Bahs
tons do!" Walk down the street with
friends in Chinese fashion (one be
hind the other) eat baked potatoes in
the morning and say "cawn't" and
"lawst"
Most of the Red Sox players have
work to do after the season is over
and the rest run poolrooms.
When eating beans, the Red Sox
players aren't particular which end
of a bean they swallow first
The majority of the Red Sox are
Irish and a bunch of "dudes"! They
use the shower after the game.
By tucking a napkin in his collar
before' eating soup, Catcher Cady
finds his tie remains arid.
Modern Fable
Once upon a time there was a ball
player and when the baseball season
was over he didn't open up a pool
room. -
' o o
TOO FAMILIAR
She laid her hand lovingly on her
husband's shoulder. He started.
"My dear, would you mind not do
ing that?" he asked.
"Why do you object, dearie?"
asked the wife.
"Well," replied the husband, "ever
since we have owned a car, every
time you do it I think it is a. traffic
cop." Ladies Home JournaL
CONVENIENT
"It isn't necessary to go to the sea
shore to get tanned."
"I know it When I was a boy I
never had to go any farther than, to
the woodshed." N. Y. Wz&i.
jtsMAKmmmri- -- - -.c- ,

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