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Newspaper Page Text
& n! y. it is sure f unney what sep erates some married peepel, aint it, & that's what j thought when i herd about the dame that got sooed for divors because a man was a insur ance agent insted of a dockter. ' they was a veny loving1 cuppel & got along purty well for a long time until she made the fatel mistake & then(it was all off with them & it happened this way 1 evening mr. phfilips comes home feeling purty bad & he says i have got a bad cold, coming to me, i gess. his wife feeds him a good supper & he sets dowa in his room & reeds the paper & soon forgets he is feel ing bad, but then his wife comes in & says tomas there is a man in the front room who wants to speek to you do you know him, mr. phillips ink wired of his- wife & she says, you must forgive me, deeri but of late i have been so much worried about your helth, and you take so littel care of yourself, and, o, if only you knew how anxious i am about you suppose i was to lose you, and she started crying there, there, her husband says, i am not that sick for you to worry about, but if it will make you feel better about the matter i will go in and see the dockter it aint, his wife 'began, but he dld ent give her no time to finish, but husseled in to see the dockter & tell him there wasent nothing rong with his helth. howdy doc, he says, & the man says the dockter will call to exam ine you later, i am only the insur ance agent that rites the applika-shun that started the trubbel, mrs. phil lips said in cort, for her husband got sore because she called the insurance agent insted of the dockter when she was worrying so much about his helth AINT NATURE WONDERFUL! By Gene Ahern We'd like to see some of those poor he-fish that prance up and down Fifth av. Sunday aftern'oons sitting with, the Brooklyn "lolds" in the bleachers at,the Dodger parks Three inches of water in the tub ain't enough 'for some guys, but it's just about two and a half inches too much for Gran'pap Robinson, man ager of the Dodgers. Mowrey, third baseman for the trolley boys, has only a couple of orphan teeth left He isn't very old but has been bucking up against Brooklyn boarding house steaks for much time. You'd be up a tree just as, much in Unga, Africa trying to understand the'cHatter as you'd be in Brooklyn. Olson, he Brooklyn shortstop, isn't a musician, but he's something like the Mick that muttered: "Oi can't play a fiddle, but if oi had one I'd play it if I could play one."" Ballplayers are the same the-woild over. Johnston, the Brooklyn cen terfielder, drinks cold coffee out of the saucer. o o SUSPICIOUS "When Bill Simmons goes to church they always pass the contri bution plate to him before anyone else." "Why is that? Is he such a gen erous giver?"' "Not he. By passing it to him first, they don't stand a chance of losing anything but the empty plate." N. Y. World. BRIEFLY EXPLAINED "Why have you named the cora the Jackrabbit variety? J "Long ears.