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settled too deep for anything to be
of much use. I thought of .telephon
ing Marian to take me anyhow, but I
knew that woujdn't go. Jim had won
her in fair fight and well, I had to
"Just then I heard a ring at the
door of my apartment I went and
opened it. An ugly-looking buck nig
ger was standing there. -
" 'What do you want, you black
loafer?' I roared, for I wasn't feeling
very kindly toward the colored race
just then. He looks at me. "What,
you too?' he roars. And then I saw
that it was Jim.'
" 'Come in!' I says frostily, but still
glad at heart. But he didn't need the
invitation, but just pushed me into
my room and pulled the door to after
him. And he bursts into a roar of
" 'I don't see nothing funny in your
remarks,' says I. But Jim only laughs
the louder. 'Have you tried turpen
tine?' he asks.
" 'I havd, and likewise suds and al
cohol, benzine and gasoline,' I an
swers huffily. Then the laughing fit
took hold of me as well. 'Say, Jim,
you do look a peach,' I says. 'Do
you thing Miss Marian will marry
" 'That drop must have divided,'
says Jim. 'Well, there's no hope for
either of us now, Theodore.'
" 'I dunno,' says L 'I guess it's
up to us to commit suicide, if we ain't
death-proof, but there's one thing to
do first and that's to bash up Per
" 'I'm with you there,' I says.
'When do we begin?'
" 'Right now,' he says; and then
the telephone rang. 'Excuse me,'
" Til go with you,' says Jim, kind
"It was from Marian. 'Congratu
late me, boys,' she says. 'I guess you
are together. I'm telephoning you
from Atlantic City. 'The perfesser
and I were married at 6 this morning,'
"I don't know that I need to say
any more, gentlemen. I've been hunt
ing for the perfesser ever since, but
I've never found him. In the inter
vals I've been searching for some
thing to take off the color. I never
found that either. Jim and I as last
started to work our way through the
states to find MacStart. He started
from San Francisco and I from New
York. I don't know how far he's got,
but I've reached Jersey City, as you
see, and I hope to make Philadelphia
by the end of the year.' You don't
think it's worth another dollar to
help me on my way after telling you
this? Oh, all right, suit yourselves,
(Copyright, 1916, W. G. Chapman.)
GIRL WOULD GO TO JAIL FOR
When her brother, Stephen, was
found guilty of robbery, Miss Marie
Petrach of Cleveland dropped to her
knees and begged the judge to sen
tence her instead of him.
"Spare him for our parents' sake,"
she cried. She said he earned $1 a
week, while she brought in only $8
and her family could not stand to
lose her brother's income.