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"I have a hunch John won't come,"
"What do you mean?"
"He must have got your letter an
hour ago, almost. It is 6:25. I am
sure he isn't coming. Probably he
is glad to be free."
"And you're happy to be rid of
him," continued Jim. "He's a worth
less scamp. Lily, dear, suppose we
convert that program into a reality."
"Jim, have you lost your senses?"
"No, I have just found them, dear.
I've always loved you. Let us really
go to San Francisco, dearest, and be
happy the rest of our lives."
"How dare you insult me!" cried
Lillian, furiously. "And how dare
you insult my husband? Oh, you
traitor! I never dreamed you were
so wicked. Leave me at once. Oh,
John, John, why don't you come?"
She turned away from Jim, who
hesitated, and then, with a hopeless
expression on his face, went up. to
"I'll go, then, Lilly," he said. "But
say you forgive me. It was your
beauty fascinated me and threw me
off my balance. Let me take you
"There's John!" cried Lillian
It - was John, strolling amiably
along the platform. He nodded non
chalantly to Jim and raised his hat
to his wife.
"Just in time, dear," he said.
"What a joke to play on your poor
old husband! I'm grateful to you,
more grateful than I can tell, Jim, for
"It wasn't a joke!" cried Lily. "And
Jim didn't find me. Jim was cqming
John smiled. "Well, he's coming
back," he said. "Do you think you
can make a nice Welsh rabbit for
supper, Lily? Jim loves 'em don't
Lily, in despair, suffered her hus
band to take her by the arm, and
soon the three were comfortably en
sconced in a taxi. At the door, how
ever, Jim turned away.
"I guess I won't come in tonight,
old man," he said.
And, as John turned toward him:
"I guess . it will be all -right now,
John gripped his hand. "You were
a trump, Jim," he said. "I'll never
forget it The program worked?"
Upstairs Lily began to cry her
heart out. But John put his arm
about her. "What is it, dear?" he
"I don't know whether you knew
it was just a pretense or whether you
didn't care," she sobbed.
John kissed her. "My dear, you,
don't think I'm a liar, do you?" he
asked. "When I've stopped caring
for you I'll tell you so. See?"
And Lillian did see, more clearly
afterward when the truth leaked out
At first she was furious with Jim, and
even now she is a little cold toward
him. But as John sensibly says, "It
doesn't do any harm to have one's
wife cool to one's best friend. You
never can tell how far a joke will go."
Answer: Huhi we know a guy- who
is so tight he taught his wife to walk
in her sleep so he wouldn't have to
buy a bed.