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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
1 v Royalty.
We haven't any more love for roy
alty than a bum has for a bar of soap
and a pan of water Kings,, kaisers,-
czars, counts, dukes, lords and all the
g' ' rest of 'em are just as much off hitch'
with us as a panhandler, six-day bike
race, wrestling match or any oth,er
. nice evil, .vvnen tne wona was young
and foolish but wiser, the king used
. to lead the grand march into battle,
and if he had less training than his
opponent you'd find him a little .hence
in his royal, bed with his brogans on
.minus his know. That was some time
agQ, Oswald, but they don't act like
that now anymore. The kings,
-.kaisers, czars these days are at the
,f front with the reserve gear on. They
Tsic their subjects on to one another,
then royalty hides in the corner of
the parlor and peek 6ut of the shut
ters to see how the scrap is getting
along, and while the scrappers are
catching their second wind and there
is no danger of royalty getting their
royal eyebrows mussed.
And when the goat fall guy sub-
TTiects have sent one another to the
happx hunting ground and there isn't 4
anybody left to pull triggers or shove
swords at one another, royalty, in-
tead of rolling up sleeves to pull off
?$a. finish fight between themselves,
frame up marriages between their
ons and other royalty s daughters so
As to insure a twenty-year endow-
ent policy peace 'plan in the royal
amily. Ain't you glad, Norman, you
on't have to bow every time you
ear royalty s monicker mentioned
ir get baggy knees in the trousers
ram kneelinsr because thev haDDen
'to be nigh? Are we? Well, we should
giggle up our sleeve! U. S. A. and
O. D. means everything to me.
o so . "
"If Twere you, Peck, I'd let my wife,
know who is boss in my house."
" "Let her know? Great Scott!
TUS OM IS FROM
IttE AStfS-MY IS IVY CUMBlNS A
BECAUSE ITS A STEM
First Girl Katherine doesn't rafc
derstand baseball at aH.
Second Girl She doesn't?
First Girl No. Why the other 6ky
sfie went to a game and fell in Ion
iShe knows already,"
'with the umpirf