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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 04, 1916, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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new york. theres a giri,in the biz
ziness offlse where they sell the
newspapers & take in the ads that
wont never take any prises for the
gray matter in her noodle for she
comes as neer being noboddy at
home as you can find if you was to
get out & hunt a long time
if she aint pulling one bonehead
play she is hatching up anuther,
which is Just as1 bad if it aint worst
the other morning a guy comes in
& makes for the counter
usually some boddy allways heads
this girl off befour she gets a chanct
to spill the beans but this time evry
boddy else was bizzy them selfs & she
got to the counter befour the manad
ger cood get his lamps on the spot
the feller asts her, have you got
the paper for a week back, i want to
for a week back, she says to him
yep, thats what i ast for, he lrfe
plyd. well, she tells him, we aint got no
paper for a week back but what you
want is a porous plaster which you
can get at the drug store acrost the
then the manadger comes up &
sets things to rite by selling him the
papers for all the days of the week
A BIRD IN THE HAND, ETC.
"Dearest," said the young hus
band, "can't I get you a beautiful dia
mond ring for Christmas?"
"Oh, darling," whispered the far
seeing young thing, "I will take the
ring now add let Christmas bring its
happy surprises just as usual."
ladies' Home Journal.
WREM ITS ,
SHE NEEDED AID
"See that man over there? He is
a bombastic mutt, a windjammer
nonentity, a false alarm-and an en
cumbrance of the earth."
"Would you mind writing all that
down for me?"
"Why in the world "
"He's my husband and I should
like to use it on him some time