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Newspaper Page Text
' MOSTLY ANYTHING
It seemed, in last night's storm, as
if Dunder and Bhtzen came in ad
vance of 01' St Nicholas.
ir a dude's eyeglass rubbed against
his eyebrow would his spec tickle?
Now Joe Tinker himself says that
Weeghman is not going to tinker
with him next season. We'll believe
i when the baseball season opens
ana josepn isn t tnere.
One of our city's best little .prob
lems is in finding a corner on eggs.
Ana yei mere is one.
One kind of brine and 6rfe kind of
pickle go right welHogether.
-But another kind of Bryan and an
other kind of a "pickle" do not fit at
all. Souse is another good word for
the kind of "pickle" we mean in this
Now, Mr. Jake Loeb, to show your
appreciation to those who backed
you by re-electing' you head of the
srchool "board, why not ' reinstate
those 68 teachers?
And then' we would all appreciate
And you just can't imagine what a
great deal of satisfaction it is to do
something that everybody appre
ciates. When a butcher tells you you can
buy cow meat cheap he's kiddin' y,ou
or aboutHo give you a "bum steer."
Id seebs thad eberybody's god a
cod these days, dode id?
Now that cold weather is really ex
pected to be with us soon, we're
thinking of writing a new dance song
entitled "Doing the Itch." -
If you wear 'em you can appreciate
How about setting a speed limit
for street car,s and motorcycle cops?
London has adopted the - "Let
(Lloyd) George Do It" expression,
and is acting on the same.
A head in last night's Journal read:
"West to Get More Cars."
We nearly had heart failure.
Thought "it meant street cars for Chi
cago. Nothin' doin', however. Re
ferred to Sox cars.
Now they're talking of closing the
city department of gas and electric
ity, which would plunge the town
into darkness.' v
For the love of Mike, are they
going to play right into the hands of
pickpockets, robbers and hold-ups?
And right in the holiday season.
How very considerate,
"NO MAN CAN TELL THE TRUTH
i FOR AN HOUR!"
By.ldah McGlone Gibson
New York, Dec. 8. "No man can
speak the truth for one hour, let
alone 24, and keep from getting
killed in this world pf deceit and the
devil," says William Collier, star in
"Nothing But the Truth."
Collier had jusput off the worried
smile he wears in the play, in which
fte is supposed to tell only the truth
for 24 hours, and put on the receiv
ing smile of sophistication that he
keeps for everyday use, when he
made this statement to me in his
"No man or woman is free from
speaking untruths," said Collier. "We
lie to our enemies occasionally, to our
friends often, to those we love most
of the time and to ourselves all the
"Then -you do not believe the beau
tiful story about the father of our
country," I said.
"I do not, he repliea.
"But surely a man tells the truth
to his sweetheart and his wife." .
'He does' not if he keeps his sweet
heart or his wife," Collier answered.
'Surely you know that the most
satisfactory lover is the man who can
lie so artistically he almost believes
his lies himself?"
"Men are never too old to tell lies
and women never too old to believe
them. A girl loves a clever compli
ment even when she knows the man
is not telling the truth." ,