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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL
W ' Christmas Time
14 Christmas is the time of the year
that makes you feel like going up to
an old enemy, slap him on the back
and say, ""Come on, Bill, shake
You're almost as big a fool as I am."
You talk and act friendly to Strang'
era as if you owed them money
you giggle In crowded cars and laugh
when the car jerks your strap neigh'
bor loose from his pile of bundles that
settle on your brow.
Even the motorman has a grin on
his mug and the conductor is pohte.
Everybody iSfull ot the Christmas
spirit and some with the other kind,
Everybody is happy and genial.
Look at the Janitor. Even he is
happy and it doesn't hurt (there's a
The clasp on your pocketbook
won't stay shut and the money slips
out eaBier thai) a raw oyster off your
Well, we've been trying to explain
just how Christmas time makes a
fellow feel, but anyhow it makes a
fellow feel so flooie in the filbert and
happy, if he went to see a wrestling
match they'll throw him out for ap
plauding too loud there, that ex
plains it best.
' A Seattle nian has invented a
butcher's scale with a groove in it
that holds the butcner's thumb more
comfortably than the old kind.
A liny electric lamp Is mounted on
the handle of a safety razor of Erfg--'
lish Invention. ,
m HE ASWt- VMHA.T VS
,W HEI6KT OF.
About the most astounding sight
in the world is to see New York's
sky line going across the Hudson
river In a ferryboat Cornell widow.
For overpowering: re factory pris
oners an inventor has patented a po
liceman's club that emits a noxiout
gas when a button is pressed. ,