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Newspaper Page Text
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL!
A Simp Moral Editorial
Part 2 Continued.
Well, Tom kept going along at his
work like a Hindoo, and also ran 'the
Sunday school class on sleep morn
ing. It was there Tom met Minnie
Muzosky, the butcher's daughter and
manicurist in Olson's tonsorial studio
at the Grand hotel.
It wasn't many months before
they both slid up the center aisle for
an "until death do us part."
Meanwhile Jerry was going from
worse to worser he could throw
sevens and elevens with a rubber
ball; fooling with politics, and had his
eye on a couple of lighthead box
fighters. Five Years Later Same Cast.
Jerry, the boneheaded boob who
only filled up space in the room when
he went to school, is now some ras
bo. He is alderman of the 36th
ward, runs a saloon, has charge of a
string of pugs; cleaned up coin on
stock, wears a mustache, brown der
by and chews cigars; has the police
department under his thumb and is
quite Borne pasha.
Tom is still with Simpson's barrel
foundry and has a blister on his
thumb from poking the timeclock.
He is also teaching his five kids to
walk on their hands on account of
the high cost of shoe leather.
It's all wrong, all wrong, you hope
ful Schwabs and Carnegies.
"Truthful advertising" is the slogan
of the hour. Bill Nye once having a
"raspberry plush cow of undoubted
courage" to sell, boldly advertised
her faults as well as her virtues, end
ing his statement with the honest
confession: "I would rather sell her
to a non-resident, the farther away
Judge Where did the automobile
Rastus Well, judge, if I'd been
carrying a license number it would
hab busted to a thousand piece,
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"Well, you see," replied the fore
man, "it wWthis way. Bill went Into
the powder mixing room, probably
thinking of something else, and
struck a match in mistake. He "
"Struck a match!" exclaimed the
proprietor in amazement "I should
have thought that would have beea
the last thing on earth he.'d do!"
"It was, sir," was the calm -