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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL!
J Street Car Wolves
Barnum thought he had some col
lection of wild animals. He did, but
he could have made it the most com
plete zoo in the worM if he had
wrapped up a flock of jitney jockeys
with his outfit.
From two-footed elephants down
to derby-wearing wild boars. How
about the hyena sitting down who
plants his satchel-sized hoofs out in
the aisle as solid as the corner-stone
of a bank and the roof interferes
with customers hurdling them?
Then there's the yap with a flat
tire brain who gives his suitcase a
seat The goof standing up that leans
on you all the way down town and
makes five or six attempts at locat
ing the brass foot rail on your shins.
And the simp that reads the morning
paper a la Indian club, the rummy
with the churning elbows, the hick
that does a Steve Brodie every time
the motorman tries to make the car
do a broad jump off the trucks, the
egg that would shame a sardine for
utilizing space and bores into three
inches of seat pasture, thus making
everybody as comfortable as a
weiner in mouthing distance of a
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
held good before street cars were in
vented. COULDN'T RESIST HIM
Down in Tennessee two native met
after several months and fell into in
timate conversation. "Sam, what's
youah daughter Mandy doin'?"
asked the friend from Coon Hollow
"Teachin' school and doin' fine."
"I thought she-didn't git no certif
icate?" "She didn't at fust, but when she
done tookiuh examination the third
time I done brung a little political in
fluence to hear."
"What kinder political influence?"
"Well, I'm local tax assessor, an'
the school board lives in my district."
WilCM IU I.HIO
SAN SHA.CTN VMHACT S T'
FOB. THAT i'uv
HOW THEY DECIDED
Willis I suppose you, your wifs
and your mother-in-law all had a
hand in naming your new baby girl?
Gillis Yes. Her first name is after
my, wife, her middle name after my
mother-in-law, and her family name
is to be the same as mine. Puck, ,