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Newspaper Page Text
AIN'T NATURE WONDERFUL
The whole explanation of the why-
lore of the fpod prices is this:
In Europe they get the benefit out
of one stick of gum that we get out
of two. In other words, we row the
boat and they steer, or yet some
more; we carry the hod and they
shuffle the bricks.
It's always been an unsolved mys
tery why the manufacturers of this
country break, 'their necks supplying
stuff to European countries that sells
for half and some more below what
we pay for it here. Why, right in
Chicago, where they build more meat
than Ingereoll does watches, the na
tives haven't even had an informal
introduction to meat, while over in
Europe even the moat humble wear
American-made salt pork for a sore
"Charity begins at home," and the
way things look there's "nobody
home" in this country.
But wait, le't's have some fun. Let's
end this up humorous like (soft
That gilded alibi, "It's on account
of the war." For popularity it has
McConnick's "I Hear You Calling
Me" in a back-seat. There is such a
thing as pulling the wool over the
eyes, but the money hogs here didn't
stop at the orbs they're, suffocating
Well, don't give up; there's hope.
They're going to start an investiga
tion. Ain't that nice? After a year
or more of investigation they'll come
-forth with the remarkable statement
that prices have been raised.
The squirrels will never starve in
the good old U. S. A. They don't
have to hie hither and thither in the
forests for nourishment.
PHONE ST. PETER
"Father, when people go to heav
en do they get to be angete right
away or do they have to pass a lot
of darned old "examinations?" Lon
STRONG MAN OF JOURNALISM
"Daddy, what did the Dead sea
"Ob, I don't know, dear."
"Daddy, where do the Zepp'lins
"I don't know."
"Daddy, when will the war end."
"I don't know."
"I say, daddy, who made you an
editor?" The Sketch.