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Newspaper Page Text
AINT NATURE WONDERFUL
The word banquet used to mean a
feast Probably it did when mankind
was just learning to talk and. couldn't
do anything else at a banquet but eat.
But as mankind grew older they de
veloped meanness, hence banquet
With these banquet speakers no
one ever should be afraid of swallow
ing a hot potato or getting food down
fhe windpipe. You don't get a
chance. You do penance by listen
ing to the speaker. You have to ap
plaud his speech because American
flags are always on display at ban
quets. They soak you 5. or 10 dollars a
plate at a banquet. Plate , is right,
although a $10 plate isn't any more
nutritious than a 5 and 10-cent store
plate and besides you can take the 5
and 10-cent store plate home. These
diet squaders think they are starting
something new but they copped their
act from banquets.
The words a banquet speaker says
that always strike home and make
a hit with the unfortunates are,
"Gentlemen, I thank you." Then the
banquet is all over and the banquet
ers, awake, smoke awhile, then gp
home for something to eat.
Banqueters never suffer from in
digestion or insomnia. 1
Mr. Borton lived in a suburban
tpwn. His wife asked him to pur
chase, a shirtwaist for her while in
New York. After telling the sales
girl what he was after, she display
ed a number.
"Here are some very pretty ones.
' "What color do ypu prefer?" she
"It doesn't make any difference,"
replied Mr. Barton.
"Doesn't make any difference!"
exclaimed the salesgirl. "Why, don't
you think your wife would like a cer
"Np, it makes no difference what.
color I get or what size. I shall have
to come baok-tomorrow to have it
changed." New York -Times.
JUST BETWEEN GIRLS
Agnes No, I would never marry a
man to reform him.
Ethel Well, I don't think myself
that harsh measures are the best. i
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